trying to be understanding but starting to lose patience

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anewlight07 7 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #2052

    anewlight07
    Member

    There is a group of kids in our neighborhood that likes to play together. For the most part I like the kids and the moms, but, I’m having a hard time dealing with the one little girl who has down syndrome. Honestly, she’s driving me a little up the walls. Sweet, sweet kid, but she and my youngest keep getting into it. She’s older than my oldest but acts younger than my youngest. So, she’s a lot bigger than my youngest and knocks him down, picks him up, generally gets a bit rough.

    I’ve tried to very calmly say NOT to touch him, hands to yourself, etc. BUT she’s constantly yelling at him and pushing him nonetheless. My oldest generally gets along with with her and does well overlooking her disability, talking with respect, etc…but when it comes to his brother he gets really torqued and took a swing at her once. WHICH, FYI, at 6, he got grounded for two days over…we don’t tolerate that in this house.

    Anyhow, I’m usually the only mom that stays out to be with the kids, keep them out of the street, etc. One other mom works and comes out when she gets home w/ her kids. The mother of the girl with DS typically doesn’t come out and has another child she’s spending time with. I TOTALLY understand her need for a break….but I’m getting so irritated with the way this girl is ruffing up my guys.

    I’m trying to keep a good Christian attitude towards it all…and I really like her mom…but this is kind of driving me batty as it is a daily situation. Tonight the other mom ended up lifting her. I can’t because I’m expecting and she’s far too heavy for me to lift without injury.

    What do I do to keep my frustrations in check, keep things fair to all the kids (mine and others)?

    #3205

    julka
    Member

    I think you’re doing the right thing by trying to act the Christian way and being patient, understanding, tolerant, etc. But there is a limit to everything as well, and your kids’ well being is obviously an important factor to each mom out there.

    If I were in your shoes, I would go ahead and talk to that little girl’s mom (the one with DS) and explain the situation to her. Yes, her mom needs a break (who wouldn’t in her place??), but it’s also her responsibility to discipline her kids and insure a safe play athmosphere exists not only for her child, but for others as well.

    That little girl needs to learn how to safely play with her buddies, and it might take her more time to learn ‘how’, but the sooner she starts, the sooner she will understand. And the best person to teach her this, is her mom.

    My opinion anyway :) Good luck.

    Julia

    #3206

    celticspirit
    Member

    I’m totally with Julia here…

    And, for the record, I wouldn’t let my DS child run around outside without constant supervision given the needs of that child specifically because of the situation you’re speaking of. I wouldn’t want my child to hurt anyone else because of his/her needs.

    I would be speaking with that mom RIGHT AWAY!

    #3207

    anewlight07
    Member

    The neighbor kids finally start playing because the weather cools off. They have a great time for MONTHS and now no one is playing. The DS girl isn’t playing because I got after her and taunts my youngest when we come in and out of the house. The other kids won’t play because they are JW and offended by the Christmas decor. :roll:

    My eldest was crying last night. He says he wants to move. I don’t blame him! I’m trying not to support that particular feeling, as we’re stuck for now, but I’m in the same boat.

    I’ve been really friendly with the moms, inviting them over, setting out toys for everyone to play with but because I’m not JW and/or I won’t tolerate some run-amok kid terrorising the neighborhood (disabilities or no…the kid is running-amok…my DH thinks they must be “hopeful” something will happen or oblivious…but bets heavily on “hopeful”…what else can you say about letting a kid with a 3 year old mentality/vocabulary skill-set run around the neighborhood unattended?) my kids are shunned.

    I don’t get it. I haven’t been mean. I’ve been very welcoming and understanding even while these people were more-or-less STANDING on my toes (or running over them in the case of my youngest…the parents of the DS girl gave her an ATV).

    Last night the JW girls were playing a “game” where they couldn’t “see” or “hear” my son…aka they were ignoring him and exhibiting what I consider indirect-aggression (which girls are so good at). Now, today, we get home and they’re running of saying “we can’t play with you”.

    :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
    :evil: :evil: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

    I’m fed up. From this point, I’m adopting the stragey that we will politely say “hello” to them if we encounter them but more or less “move on” in terms of cultivating friendships. I think both the moms and the kids have made it pretty clear where they stand.

    My poor sons, though, none of it is their fault. At least we still have our homeschooling groups. :D

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