October 9, 2007 at 6:33 pm #2204
What do you Catholic moms think I should do?
I am 36 yrs old with four children aged 18 mths, 4, 6 and 8. I have been home full-time for almost 4 and a half years. I have a master’s degree in special education and have the opportunity to return to work. I have an opportunity to take a teaching job until the end of June (only 170 working days!). After that I will stay home again full-time.
The debate in my head is that I had these four children and I should be home with them (two are in public school – we don’t have Catholic schools here and two are still home with me). I would also like to have a fifth child and this job would allow for me to collect maternity beneift once I am finished. I’m not pregnant yet.
I think I want to work for my brain stimulation. We also have bills that are waiting to be paid and have not put any money in the kids education funds for two years now. Going back to work would easily clear the bills, pay into the educ. funds and then some (for the stuff we wished we could do/have over the last while but could not afford it).
So what do I do? Stay home with the kids or go back to work until the end of June and then be home again full time?
I am stuck between these thoughts – they are my kids and I should raise them – and – it is only 9 months work and the bill stress will be taken care of – and – is the working only for material goods which is not in agreement with the teachings of the church.
AHHHH… I need to decide what to do!
Any insights / shared experiences would be great.
4_under_7October 10, 2007 at 12:43 am #3769
I have three children, ages 11, 9, and 6. I had to work full time their whole lives until 3 1/2 years ago. Then, during that time I had to go back to work for about 3 months. That time I lost will never be given back. I’m so grateful to be at home with them now and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. But those early months I especially regret missing all the changes.
My opinion is stay with those babies! Don’t let a daycare provider enjoy all those little milestones.
However, I’ll also say that you and your husband are the only ones who can decide what’s best for your family. It might be that it would be a good thing for you. All I can offer is my own experience and opinion!
God bless and good luck!
(miss)Charlie DamoreOctober 10, 2007 at 4:56 am #3770
I do not know (yet) the cost that goes along with having 3+ kids being that I have one child and I am able to stay home with him. You said that you are wanting some brain stimulation along with a second pay check and that is a hard statement for me to understand. Brain stimulation is always out there, you just have to find it. A book club, online debate forum, a playgroup for SAHM of young children, Bible study, various parish organizations, etc.
I cannot believe how fast these 2 yrs have gone by with my son. It would break me up inside to hand over all of the daily blessings God has in store for me via my son, to someone else…but thats just me. Im doing exactly what I always wanted to do for a career and I know that not everyone feels that way.
By consolidating a car loan, one credit card and an installment loan, we are now saving $180 a month that used to be spent on mostly interest. Is there anyway you could do the same? We also do not have cell phones which saves on average $75 a month. I have a”pay go” phone for emergencies. We also dont have cable for cost reasons as well as our personal family values. I am a bargain hunter but yet we still manage to by the good stuff like Charmin, LOL! If all possible financial shortcuts have been made and you are not doing this for vacation money and so forth, but to survive, then all I can say is that I will be praying for you…thats a tough decision to make. Remember though that bills are always gonna be there, no matter what, children are not. Praying for your peace, Gina N.October 10, 2007 at 2:11 pm #3771
I worked until after the birth of our 3rd child, then I stayed home full time. My only regret is that I did not quit my job after the first one was born! They grow up too fast and if you can be with them, that is the best! You could consider getting a job when they are in school possibly but I would definitely vote for staying home!
God bless you!
LisaOctober 10, 2007 at 2:58 pm #3772
You should do a poll about your question to the group! Gina N.October 26, 2007 at 1:53 pm #3773
I believe your the thing you have to ask yourself is “how would this affect the 18 month old?”‘ The others are old enough to enjoy pre-school/daycare. I”ve had one child who would have been happy in daycare at 18 months– he was social and always “raring to go.” I have another child, however, who would simply be devastated if I left him with strangers. He’s not too happy being left with his dad a lot of the time!
I have worked in daycares and can tell you that when a child is scared a
nd doesn’t want to stay, it’s just HORRIBLE. Daycare people are NOT sympathetic to a crying, grieving child either. They’re very much have the attitude of “ignore him and he will stop crying.” ONce a distraught toddler (it was as if he thought his mother had died) was ripped from my arms and placed on the ground outside and I was told “you’re spoiling him!!!” Daycare people often aren’t child experts at ALL. They’re just trying to make it easier for themselves.
Oh, I didn’t even ask if you have some relative or trusted friend to watch the kids– that would make it much easier for you to work in any case.
Prayers that God will show you what He wants you to do!
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