August 3, 2007 at 1:45 am #2181
Hi I really need some help. I am going to give you a little background so you understand my situation. I am 32 years old and my husband is 37 years old. We have been together 6 years. We got married April 28,2007.
I have been in school to becoming a court reporter for many, many years (8 Years). I am finally at the end of my schooling. Court Reporting is a really hard career and it has taken a long time for me to complete. I graduated last June 2006 and went to the State Exam to get certified. It is a 3 part test. I passed 2 parts. I have been to the test 3 times and have not been able to pass the last pending part of the exam. On July 14th, I retook it again in hopes of passing this last part so that I can get certified by the State and start working. If God permits, I will pass this time.
I have a daughter of my own. And my husband and I have always agreed that we want 3 kids. For some reason for the past year, I have been desperately wanting to start a family. My husband and I don’t own a home. We rent. We’ve been wanting to buy a home, but they are so expensive right now that we can’t afford a home on one imcome, so we are waiting for the market to go down a little more so we can buy. He is the only one working. I attend school fulltime (even though I graduated) so that I can stay up to date and ready for the test. My husband and I have discussed starting a family and he says that right now is not the time because I am still trying to finish school. Plus, because I am not working and still going to school, he says daycare would be a problem with it being so expensive. I told him a cousin of mine could watch the baby while I try to finish school, but he didn’t seem too convinced. He says when I finish school we then could afford to buy a house and have a family. But the thing is I feel I am getting older and really want a family now. I am getting very depressed at the thought that I have to wait until I finish school to have a family.
Why am I feeling this way?
A part of me tells me my husband is right in saying that we should wait, but there is this strong feeling inside me pulling me towards a family. I feel my husband is scared of starting a family and buying a home. I think we would be able to make it on his income for a little while until I finished school. He says he’s just being responsible. But I think he’s afraid. Please help me with your prayers! I have prayed that if I am incorrect and my feelings are not of our Lord that our Lord help me follow His will. I too pray that if my husband’s point of view is not of our Lord please change him. I really don’t know what to do. Part of me gets so upset with myself for wanting a family now since I am still in school, but I feel this ache in my heart for a baby. What is going on? I just feel that my husband is scared and I don’t understand it. I trust in our Lord that we would be okay but that doesn’t seem enough for my husband.
Please pray for us.
God Bless you.August 4, 2007 at 2:56 am #3693
herein lies the problem of us trying to plan our lives out line by line…God has an idea of what he wants for us. we have to put our faith in Him when it comes to finances, jobs, kids, marriage, etc… His timeline is different than ours. Maybe his plan is for you to pass the tests, find a great job, enjoy your husband and marriage, and spend your time helping children at your church, and never have any more children. Maybe His plan is for you to be pregnant right away and trust in Him and ask for wisdom in making your financial decisions. We really have no idea so always have to pray each month if we should be practicing NFP or TTA or TTC. Remember, your life will be completely different in 5, 10, 20 years. You may live in a different town, state, or country. I know it’s hard to think that because we always want to think we have our whole lives planned out and under control. This is why you are panicking, you are realizing how much is out of your control! It is really hard when you are a planner like me, believe me, I understand. The only thing that helped me to realize the God’s plan is always better than our own is the book:
The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West.
I wasn’t even Catholic when I read the book but something prompted me to ask more questions about NFP, marital intimacy, and raising children. my DH grew up Catholic and since reading this book I have decided to convert. I have been attending Mass for 12 years but never until reading this book did I really get what Catholicism and God’s will was all about.
I hope you find the peace in Jesus that you are looking for. I hope you are able to get this book and read it with your spouse. Try not to worry too much about what the “next” step is…just pray that God will give you the patience and wisdom to deal with whatever may come.
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