Please, I really need help

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  janie 7 years, 8 months ago.

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  • #2128

    carahelp
    Member

    I was brought up in an abusive home and I married to get away from the abuse. Although Catholic now we were protestant then and married in a protestant church. because of anxiety and fear I have closed myself off from the world, am in a loveless marriage and feel so lost and alone. I want to change my life and my situation but I don’t know where to start. I know that I need to make a good confession, but how do I tell a Priest that I have never loved my husband. I know the answer is not an affair, or drugs or suicide, but how do i make my life better while staying in an unhappy home where i’m verbally (never physically) abused. I’m looking for real, honest help and I believe that i can find it here. thank you

    #3511

    julka
    Member

    I am sorry you’re going through this, but I really think you need to make the steps to change your lifestyle because it seems you jumped from one bad situation to the next.

    It also doesn’t sound like your marriage to this man is a ‘valid’ one in the sense that you say you never loved him… the right intentions for marrying him were not there and so it shouldn’t be too difficult for a priest to understand what you’re going through and what you are in this marriage.

    Do talk to a priest. Most of them are very good at giving you advise and pointing you in the right direction. It’s either that, or you’ll have to continue living in a miserable marriage, an unhappy lifestyle, and who wants that?

    Keep us posted.

    #3512

    rosannajames
    Member

    Yes definitely go talk to a priest. Find out if your marriage is valid or not in the church. Do you have any children? If so, you will have to think of them as well. Another option is to get counseling for both you and your husband. Praying that you find a solution that is pleasing to God.

    God bless and help you!

    #3513

    mommandm
    Member

    Wow…definitely see a priest, and tell him what you just told us. Also, pray, especially the rosary. If you dont’ have a rosary, you can get one here:

    http://www.freerosary.net/

    for free :D The rosary is one of the most powerful tools we have as humans.

    I hope you get in to see a priest soon. He can help guide you in the right direction.

    #3514

    @carahelp wrote:

    I was brought up in an abusive home and I married to get away from the abuse. Although Catholic now we were protestant then and married in a protestant church. because of anxiety and fear I have closed myself off from the world, am in a loveless marriage and feel so lost and alone. I want to change my life and my situation but I don’t know where to start. I know that I need to make a good confession, but how do I tell a Priest that I have never loved my husband. I know the answer is not an affair, or drugs or suicide, but how do i make my life better while staying in an unhappy home where i’m verbally (never physically) abused. I’m looking for real, honest help and I believe that i can find it here. thank you

    i believe if you we’re married out side of the church before becoming catholic your marriage is valid in the church. if one of you would of been catholic already when you got married it wouldn’t of been. you should talk to a priest.

    #3515

    natmur
    Member

    God bless you! Along with the advice to talk to a priest, confess to a priest, I would also encourage you to begin to go to Eucharistic adoration whenever possible — once a week if you can swing it. Pour out your heart to the Lord, and ask Him to direct your steps. Start wherever He shows you to start. Ask Him for the grace to forgive your abusers. Forgiveness does NOT mean that their wrongs don’t matter. Forgiveness does mean that God gives you the grace to be free from the wrongs done against you, so you don’t have to drag them around with you any longer in your heart. Ask God for the grace to feel His love for you, and for the grace to trust Him. Ask for the help of the saints in heaven, your gaurdian angel, and especially the Blessed Mother. They are all so ready to help you.

    Be prepared for days, weeks, months, years of God’s grace healing you. It is what He desires. But He understands us completely, and He knows how much we can handle at once. He is kind, and He honors your needs.

    #3516

    janie
    Member

    I am sorry you are going through this, but when I read this I knew I had to reply with my own experience. A few years ago my husband became verbally abusive and even threw me out due to the unexpected pregnancy of our second child. I continued to serve him and my children in the best way I knew how because I made a promise to God when I got married. I prayed to God and attended mass regularly. This and therapy may work for you to learn how to cope. God answered my prayers because he returned to the wonderful husband that I always knew he was. Everyone has hard times, and we don’t always know why. God tests us.

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