NFP as birth control

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This topic contains 41 replies, has 23 voices, and was last updated by  klp2010 3 years, 6 months ago.

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  • #2712

    anewlight07
    Member

    I am *so* thankful for my new OB. I’ve only seen him twice now, but, he seems like a very nice man and his nurses are very sweet.

    At any rate, I found him through an add in the bulletin at the church we have been attending. Great guy and NFP is the only option LOL. That doesn’t bother me ONE BIT. I took the pill, reluctantly, starting at about 14. My parents insisted I take birth control pills, more or less, the minute I had a cycle. Even when I insisted I wasn’t going to do anything like that. It really made me mad.

    When I was old enough to be free of them, I still used the pill after my first son was born, then tried the shots–it was awful and it only got worse. Now, I’ve told DH I won’t take it. It makes me miserable and I don’t want it. DH tried condoms briefly but said he didn’t like them and he wasn’t really worried about it anyway.

    So, now, we’re happily pregnant again, BUT, DH keeps going back and forth on whether or not he wants a vasectomy. I just don’t see it as right (in general) or for him or for us. We like kids, our kids are happy…

    It is tough though, because I get tempted to say “no more and that is final” just because I would like to work someday….but, I know that isn’t right, either. And if DH did get the big V, I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life for letting him.

    With RCIA and converting on the horizon, NFP is the choice we should make. I like the idea because I hate pills and I don’t like the idea of shutting out the potential to have more kids.

    It goes against everything I was ever taught, though. The “rythym method”, etc. was always poo-pooed by Dr’s and family. The pill is “freedom”…yeah, freedom to feel miserably hormonal all the time!!!

    #2713

    julka
    Member

    Anewlight – NFP is not the rhythm method. It’s really easy to use once you understand it and start practicing it full-time. It’s also 99.99% effective upon correct usage, while condoms are 80-85% effective. The pill or the depo-provera shot can also be 99.99% effective but they come with unpleasant side effects, and who wants that?

    The Couple to Couple Leage (CCLI) have a great book on NFP – I bought it recently and I’m very pleased with it. It’s called “The Art of Natural Family Planning” – the language in it is very easy and it explains everything even for women who have irregular cycles and special situations.

    Julia

    #2714

    my children are 13 months apart. I actually had a miscarriage in between the two. I had a csection with my first. I got lucky enough to have a successfully vbac for my second child. Although while I was delivering him I had a placental abrupt ion. They told me if he wouldn’t of been born right then he could of died. Due to the fact that I get preg so easily and I didn’t want to damage my body or a baby any farther from the stress of so many pregnancy’s/deliveries in such a short period. That son is now 3 and I would love another. I want to get my IUD out as I know it isn’t right. All birth control might as well be abortion in my eyes. I am interested in NFP. Anyways good luck to you and all the other moms. If anyone wants info on vbac let me know.

    #2715

    burrisfam1
    Member

    Aimee I hope that you are able to get your IUD removed ASAP. I have a close friend who ended up needing a mastectomy and hysterectomy after long periods of using the IUD. :cry: I too am a little EXTRA fertile it seems! We were using the Billings Method of NFP and after baby #3 switched to Creighton method and it has been wonderful. MUCH easier to interpret, to chart! I would highly recommend visiting the POPE PAUL VI Institute
    http://www.popepaulvi.com/
    you can find a lot of helpful information!

    Best of luck!

    #2716

    goofychick
    Member

    Hi, I’m new and I think that its great that everyone wants to live by what our faith tells us. As a catholic I have to tell you what has happened to my husband and I. At various times I have used or not used birth control & I have become pregnant twice using 2 different forms; the pill and the patch. I have 4 kids and now have had my tubes tied, so I don’t worry too much anymore. BTW I had my tubes ties at St. Rose Catholic Hospital. I don’t know where everyone lives on this forum but after my 4th father asked me when I was going to start using birthcontrol, I was shocked and upset as I didn’t expect that from a priest. So please don’t tell people that the church forbids it because they may officially but in practice they sure don’t.

    Thank you.
    Victoria

    @Sunnyone wrote:

    Since I’m new at this forum, I don’t know if you ladies have already tossed this topic around or not. My hubby and I are choosing to live as catholics and not use any artificial means of birth control. The problem is, we have 4 kids and I am 39. I really don’t want any more, our house is very full! I am still breastfeeding my 6 mo girl, so I need to know if any of the methods work for me. (My neighbor got pregnant breastfeeding last year!)Any one have any luck at this stuff? I would much rather have him get a vasectomy, but he won’t even consider it. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

    #2717

    rosannajames
    Member

    Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2007 7:13 pm Post subject: Re: NFP as birth control



    Hi, I’m new and I think that its great that everyone wants to live by what our faith tells us. As a catholic I have to tell you what has happened to my husband and I. At various times I have used or not used birth control & I have become pregnant twice using 2 different forms; the pill and the patch. I have 4 kids and now have had my tubes tied, so I don’t worry too much anymore. BTW I had my tubes ties at St. Rose Catholic Hospital. I don’t know where everyone lives on this forum but after my 4th father asked me when I was going to start using birthcontrol, I was shocked and upset as I didn’t expect that from a priest. So please don’t tell people that the church forbids it because they may officially but in practice they sure don’t.

    Thank you.
    Victoria

    That makes me very sad! :( Those priests who are condoning artificial forms of birth control are wrong and they will be judged. We all will be judged someday. Jesus said to let the children come to me and do not prevent them! There needs to be repentance in this world!

    Here is some good information from Catholic Answers:

    http://www.catholic.com/library/Birth_Control.asp

    God bless and help you!

    #2718

    sunnyone
    Member

    Hey everyone! I had no idea, when I posted this topic, that so much emotion would be stirred up. I don’t feel like I am the only one agonizing bout this anymore. I have come to peace with NFP, and my husband and I are doing just fine with it. It must take a lot of self-control on his part during the times when relations are a no-no, but he is committed to this and doesn’t complain. I breastfed my daughter until about 10 months old, and after another 6 months or so I could much more easily read my body, what it was doing. I have also come to terms with the truth: that all my kids are sent from God above, and that it was NOT the NFP that failed when I got pregnant with number 3 and 4. It was actually the pill I used to take messing up my body so I couldn’t tell what it was doing. I wanted to post this to give moms hope, that there is peace in doing God’s will on earth.

    #2719

    ashersmomma
    Member

    NFP is actually what started my journey to the Catholic church. I was a Protestant and my mom gave me a tape by Christopher West about the Theology of the Body and it changed my life. I thought to myself, okay, so Catholics have at least one thing right, maybe they are right on some other things. When my hubby and I got married I was still Protestant but we took a class on the Creighton Model becasue I knew I would never use BC…after learning the lies of BC I just couldnt do anything but NFP.
    Everyone always wonders about the “meaning to life” well, the theology of the body taught by John Paul II is where the answer lies. We have been using the “Model” for over 4 years and have had a wonderful experience. Being that my husband is still Protestant (I converted 2 yrs into the marriage), he loved me enough to trust me from the very beginning and now that he sees how much following God’s true plan benefits out life and marriage, he doesnt question it anymore.
    Through God’s will we have a beautiful son using NFP and unfortunately suffered 2 miscarriages through the 4 years but all 3 pregnancies were planned. God is a God of goodness, order and life. There is so much beauty in the way he designed our bodies to have so much purpose. Just the other day my sister was BF her 3 day old baby boy and her uterus was cramping. God planned it so perfectly that when a new baby nurses, it stimulates the uterus to contract thus getting it back to its pre-pregnancy state…there is so much purpose in his plan!
    Sex in our marriage will never be “stale” becasue God allows for us to have times of abstinence where we start to desire each other all over again…its like dating my husband! That is the answer to the single unbeliever who asks, “I dont know how I could have sex with just one person for the rest of my life!”
    To those who are still using BC, I know the thoguht of throwing out your BC is like standing on a high-dive waiting to jump, but this is why you were put on this earth…no, not to be a baby making machine and pop one out every year, but to glorify Him in ALL things we do. Another book out there that really helps Catholics understand what exactly the church has to say and what is expected from us on the topic of sex is “Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West. No topic is unexplored! He answers the questions we are too embarressed to ask our preist!
    Sometimes I feel like I am one of the only Catholic women out there who practices NFP and I just want to say thanks to all of those who gave their testimony…its very encouraging! Many blessings, Gina

    #2720

    to Ashersmomma:

    I read that book by West because I was curious what the Catholic Church really believed. I have been attending mass for 10 years and never once had the urge to convert until after reading this book. I have now been studying Catholicism ad attending RCIA and can’t wait for my confirmation. Fortunately, my DH is a cradle Catholic so he totally supports me. I tell EVERYONE I know to read The Good News About Sex and Marriage. I LOVE that book!!!

    #2721

    jocarebear
    Member

    I am only been married a year and a half and I have a 8 month old and I am expecting again I am 14 weeks along. I got pregnant on our honeymoon and then got pregnant with our little one at 5 1/2 months using NFP and doing ecological breastfeeding. I followed the rules of ecological breastfeeding and natural child spacing. I tried very hard not to get pregnant this second time and got pregnant with using NFP to prevent this pregnancy. I had no sign of mucus then the next day after relations I had all this mucus and we then abstained and we ended up pregnant from that one time.

    My concern is that NFP is not going to work. I am really scared and stressed out about the future and trying not to get pregnant again. We have no problem abstaining it’s just trying to figure out what’s going on with my body. I never had a regular period. I did all the checks with mucus and curvex. But this mucus just came out of nowhere and then I was pregnant. I am really scared because my husband is not home very much at all with his jobs and I feel like a single mom a lot and can’t handle having a lot of children when he works 24 hour or 48 hour shifts.

    I believe that NFP is what God wants of us but I don’t want to keep having unplanned pregnancies. It’s very hard on me. Right now I am very frustrated and already overwhelmed with the one child that we have I can’t imagine having one more and I don’t want this to happen again with another child back to back.

    Does anyone have any advice? I really appreciate it.

    Thanks and God bless,

    Carrie

    #2722

    mplsmom
    Member

    My husband and I have been practicing NFP for many years. I know practically everything there is to know about it because my parents actually taught it and breathed it every day. I think NFP can come very close to destroying a marriage. The only reason it doesn’t for most couples is because those same couples think divorce is also a mortal sin – so they’ll continue to stay married and practice NFP because they fear hell – not because they are “so happy”. So all those stats about how many NFP couples stay together are a little skewed!! We cannot have any more children now because of some health issues of mine. We have found that if a couple chooses not to conceive, sex is practically nonexistent – and when it is there the woman either has her period or has PMS and does not want anything to do with it and is definitely not pleasurable for her then! The pro-woman thing is a joke. NFP=tons of kids and no sleep OR NFP=limited sex only during days when woman has no pleasure or interest. Fun fun!! I have kind of decided the Catholic church’s position is not that we have self control – it’s that we simply have no fun. Hard for me to come to terms with – that a marriage is supposed to exclude sex and somehow prosper! The couples that pretend that it is “so wonderful” and so great for their marriage are just spewing what they think they should do to be good Catholics or make good inroads with their priest. If they said NFP made your hair grow my mother would probably start seeing her hair grow faster too. I also think many NFPers just have as many kids as they can to “one-up” other couples and prove they are the better Catholics. If couples choose to practice, so be it, but to pretend like it’s bringing you joy is ridiculous! It’s a cross pure and simple. You lose credibility if you start acting like it’s anything else. My protestant friends who practice birth control have happy husbands and happy marriages. Their marriages are not falling apart due to a slavery to sex!!! I laughed when I read that quote by Fr Pavone.

    #2723

    klp2010
    Member

    Carrie,

    It’s been a while since your post, but just in case I wanted to respond to you… as I’m new here.

    It’s very understandable to be concerned. Media, our Dr’s, and even our friends and family sort of put those doubts on us. The fact of the matter is, Hormonal Contraceptives ARE dangerous to your health and do still fail. The Guttmacher Institute and Planned Parenthood have put out some pretty alarming numbers regarding how contraceptives do not actually reduce abortion or unintended pregnancy. They do fail. It’s sometimes easier to put our trust in something else… but our body tells us all that we need.

    I would really rec. the book Taking Charge of your Fertility. It is based upon a secular view of fertility awareness, however, the only difference is what you decide to do during fertility. NFP is safer than FAM. If you were to use a barrier or spermicidal method during your fertile time you are at risk of method failure (not to mention going against church teaching.) The failure rates of barriers and spermicides are pretty high so even with faith aside… it’s not a smart choice if you truly need to avoid a child at this time.

    The book teaches the Sympto-Thermal Method (STM). It will help teach you how to look for more signs than just your CF. I have a very irregular cycle and have used the STM of NFP successfully thus far. I chart using fertilityfriend.com which is of HUGE help… especially in interpreting. It also shows all my stats… so I can see the earliest in the past year I’ve ever ovulated along with the latest. You can use all this info to your advantage. If, as you begin to chart and get comfortable you are really paranoid… you “could” only have relations in the third phase after you have confirmed ovulation (by your temp.) and waited the “safe period” to allow for a potential double ovulation and residual death of the egg. However, that is also not a good long term solution as that only leaves a short time in the month. Unlike what the PP above me said, we ARE supposed to have relations and enjoy it! The basics… are that the sperm can live for 2-5 days in the RIGHT environment. Your egg… only about 24 hrs. There are quite a few rules… and typically your period and right after are “normally” safe… depending on your own cycle. I love how with STM I take ALL my signs and symptoms so that I KNOW what’s going on!

    MplsMom – There are many… MANY benefits to NFP (which I’m sure you know about) that make it much better for a woman (personally, scientifically, medically, etc) than contraceptives. Besides, if you are on HBC odds are your sex drive will be non existent and you still don’t get that “enjoyable fertile” time as you mention anyhow. I don’t think anyone who calls it wonderful is oblivious to the sacrifice. Just like Christ, that is what we are called to do, and yes, it is hard at times and unpleasant to say no when you “have” too… but there is more to gain from the sacrifice than there is from the “easy” road. Marriage HAS to be more about just sex… it is GOOD and beneficial… but when we take away other forms of self sacrifice and love it negates the relationship on the whole. You make quite a few wild accusations with no merit behind them. To insinuate that NFPers try and “one up” each other to “prove” their “better” Catholics is ridiculous. Anyhow, for the record, I have quite a few protestant friends whose marriages fell apart because of contraception and many now who are unhappy in their marriage because of it. I would not however say that “all” couples (regardless of faith) who contracept are unhappy and doomed to divorce. It goes both ways. Just because you use NFP (again, it’s not just Catholics who use it) doesn’t mean you’ll have a happy marriage and not divorce. Again… there is more to marriage and a relationship than sex. One perk of NFP is that it allows you to look to other areas of your relationship… which can… in turn strengthen. Just because it can doesn’t mean that all couples who follow NFP allow it too…

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