February 22, 2006 at 2:10 am #1952
Since I’m new at this forum, I don’t know if you ladies have already tossed this topic around or not. My hubby and I are choosing to live as catholics and not use any artificial means of birth control. The problem is, we have 4 kids and I am 39. I really don’t want any more, our house is very full! I am still breastfeeding my 6 mo girl, so I need to know if any of the methods work for me. (My neighbor got pregnant breastfeeding last year!)Any one have any luck at this stuff? I would much rather have him get a vasectomy, but he won’t even consider it. Any thoughts would be appreciated!February 23, 2006 at 7:33 am #2683
Hi Sunnyone – Good for you for trying to live out your faith as a Catholic! I would suggest that you ask at your parish for information on NFP classes in your diocese. It would definitely be too involved to try to explain it all here. NFP has been a great blessing for us to be able to space our children. I hope that helps.February 23, 2006 at 2:51 pm #2684
I would hope you were kidding about the vasectomy! It is definitely not accepted by the Catholic Church.
Here is an article that may be of some help for you!
RosannajamesFebruary 25, 2006 at 4:51 pm #2685
Does NFP even work? Everyone including doctors say it doesn’t work. I am in a similar situation. We have been married for over 3 yrs and I have been pregnant ever since, I have a 2.5 yr old (from the wedding night), a 11 month old and I am expecting one in July. We CANNOT afford to have any children, and for health reasons with C-Sections being so close together I would be taking ahuge risk in getting pregnant again. I know the Catholic Church is against birth control, as well as myslef. My husband on the other hand is a Catholic but makes his own rules when it comes to living his faith. His family taught him to love God, but issues such as these don’t apply. So I am getting pressure from family and my husband to to something about it. Does anyone have any advice???February 28, 2006 at 3:10 am #2686
Hi, I’m new here, but I had to respond to your post. We’ve been using NFP since our wedding in 2003. We used it both for birth control and to get pregnant…SUCCESSFULLY. As the other poster noted, NFP is too detailed to explain here, but it is so easy. And I just had our first child in July 2005 and have not had any problems going back to NFP. There are a LOT of people who will tell you that “it doesn’t work”, but they usually don’t even know what NFP is or how effective it is. When I quote the stastistics to them, they’re surprised. And another thing, it may sound corny, but you’ll be surprised at how much closer you and your husband will grow because of using NFP. I can’t explain it, but it happens. (it’s like when someone asks you “what’s labor like?” you just can’t explain it!)
-MichelleFebruary 28, 2006 at 3:13 am #2687
Thanks for replying. This is exactly the stuff that no-one talks about. The die-hard NFP people will tell you that as Catholics we are to be open to new life, which the NFP method allows. And that “God will provide” as far as the finances. Then when you do get pregnant, you hear snickers and comments about how many kids you are having and when your dh is getting “snipped”!
I guess it is our cross to bear. Jesus did suffer much more than that. But getting back to the health issue, is it worth risking the life of a mother of three or more kids? Wouldn’t God understand in those situations? I talked to our priest about this in the confessional. I wanted to know if I was going to hell or not for using birth control. He said to pray about it, and that I probably was not going to hell over it.
This is a tough issue, and in the Elizabeth Ministry I belong to, no one ever talks about it. I think there are alot of catholic moms using some form of birth control. I belonged to a Christian reformed moms’ group also, but it never comes up there because b.c. is not immoral in their eyes.
I totally understand the Church’s teachings on this, but I’m still confused on what that means to me. And why is it that I am sooooo fertile, and others cannot conceive at all???February 28, 2006 at 5:51 am #2688
Hi Ladies! It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I wanted to weigh in on this topic. I totally agree with Michelle about NFP really bringing you closer together as a couple. My dh and I have contracepted and used NFP. I have to honestly say that NFP has been the best thing for our marriage. Is it always easy? Heck no! I will be the first to admit that it is really difficult at times. My dh was not an easy sell on the NFP thing but the more I prayed about it the more it became clear to us that this is what God was calling us to do in our marriage. We were required to take an NFP class before getting married in our parish. We were instructed in the Billings method. It does take a bit of time to learn the system but once you do it is so easy. It also gives me such a sense of satisfaction that I know exactly what is going on with my fertility every day of the month. We totally feel that we are in control of our fertility all the time (with God’s grace of course) and are not giving up our control to an artificial means. And it does work (if you follow the rules every time) even when breastfeeding. Sorry I am starting to ramble
If you are interested in reading more on the topic an awesome website is http://www.omsoul.com . Check out Janet Smith’s talk “Contraception: Why Not?” It is great!
I will be praying for all who are seeking an answer to their questions on this topic.
God bless!!February 28, 2006 at 2:43 pm #2689
I really would like to us NFP, but my husband and family members are really putting pressure on me to take birth control. My husband said if I don’t do something about it, he will. Meaning he will get a vasectomy(??spelling)! I am really torn because i know NFP is a safe and natural way to space pregnancy…but I don’t know if I 100% feel that it will work. I really know nothing about the methods. I have very irregular cycles, so I don’t kn ow how that would play into it. Also, my husband is putting pressure on me to take birth control after I give birth to baby#3, and I don’t know how to say this, but he is VERY demanding, and wants to make love ALL THE TIME, I am concerned that NFP will frustrate him even more by not allowing us to be close when he wants to. DOes this make sense?
ANY ADIVCE?????February 28, 2006 at 3:15 pm #2690
I will pray for you and your dh that you can find peace with the decision that you make. NFP can work for any woman. I have always had really irregular cycles and I am easily able to pinpoint my fertile time every month. My advice is to pray, pray, pray about it. Only God can change hearts. He will hear your prayer and answer.
Know that I am thinking of you and praying for you as well.
God bless you!February 28, 2006 at 3:25 pm #2691
I find it difficult sometimes to make the persuasion in prayer alone, but I think that is my only route. Do you know of any online classes or seminars on NFP through the Catholic Church?February 28, 2006 at 5:26 pm #2692
Usually your parish and/or diocese has info on where to take NFP classes. You can also go to http://www.ccli.org for classes (Couple to Couple League)
I totally understand what you’re dealing with. I used birth control before and hated what it did to me, so I ditched it. My dh is not Catholic, actually he doesn’t really practice any faith. He was a hard sell on NFP — he thinks I’m “too devout” as it is. My best advice is that this is where it pays to know your dh….my dh is very scientific and practical. So I showed him the success rate and how NFP is very scientific/biological on knowing your body and observing the signs. (I also prayed a lot!) That worked to a degree – then, as the last straw, I told him that it was my body and I was going to use NFP with or without him and that he needs to respect and love ALL of me, including my fertility. Besides, I told him, he didn’t have to do ANYTHING as far as NFP goes, so it was all on me anyway. Anyway, I’m rambling.
I can understand your husband’s input on the issue, but I don’t understand why your family members think that you and your dh’s bedroom activities are any of their business. (begging your pardon for my bluntness!)
I know this is hard and trying; I’ve been there. But stick to your guns. If, in the end, your dh refuses to respect your wishes and gets a vasectomy, well then, that’s between him and God.
I will keep you and your dh in my prayers. I hope you find a peaceful resolution as I know how stressful this is.
-MichelleFebruary 28, 2006 at 9:20 pm #2693
They say that praying the rosary helps with vices. I’m including sex in with vices, even though it is a benefit of marriage. You still have to control yourself a bit.
I am in the Archdiocese of Chicago, and they offer classes on NFP for $75.00. There are about 5 parishes that offer the class, but none on the south side like I am. I think we have a person in our parish though who gives advice on NFP. Try to contact a person from your parishes’ Elizabeth Ministry to see if they know anyone.
Thanks to all who are living with NFP and offering advice. It should be something that was passed down from generation to generation, but our parents probably either used nothing or used some form of contraception. Like breastfeeding, I hope this makes a comeback in popularity.February 28, 2006 at 10:44 pm #2694
I’m speaking as a Mom of 4 (#5 on the way) who has had c-sections for EACH of her children. My doctor says that he has done as many as 8 c-sections on one woman with no problem. He said that if there’s not a lot of scarring, there shouldn’t be a problem (unless you have some other
Also, if your doctor is not pro-life, you may not be getting the whole story on things with the effectiveness of NFP. I’ve found that there are many doctors out there that really PUSH contraception/vasectomies/tubes tied because of some sort of personal belief about population control. Their beliefs are not our problem! Don’t cave to the pressure!
We have been spacing our children approximately two years apart using NFP and ovulation prediction. Even when I’m BFing….I can tell when I ovulate because of mucus type, etc. It’s really not hard.
I agree that the “Contraception: Why Not!?” Program is awesome! You used to be able to buy a copy of the lecture on EWTN. Not sure if you still can? It’s a real eye opener about the negative impact of artificial contraception on relationships.
Just my 2 cents….February 28, 2006 at 11:03 pm #2695
Thanks everyone for all your replies
There was only 4 mos between my C-Section and getting pregnant, and my scare even though I am already 5 mos pregnant is bothersome and VERY sensitive, it feels as though it is almost ripping (AHHHH ) My children are about 1.5 yrs apart approx. and for soem reason my husband and I can’t stop making babies. We have been married since 2002 and we have been pregnant ever since!
I LOVE my children and would love to have more, but as you may read my other post, we are financially strapped, and my husband thinks its absurd to even risk having more kids in the very near future. Plus, I think he is overwhelmed…I am only 24 yrs old and he is 25 yrs. and all the pregnancies were a SURPRISE… So Ithink he just mentally feels he can’t handle more. I know God will provide, but he’s not so faithful. As I said before my definition oF how God plays in our lives, and his definition are completely different. I am going to take your advice and PRAY, PRAY, AND PRAY, and when it’s doesn’t seem to work pray some more. I am really curious about learning about NFP…can anyone tell me, is it possible to start NFP right after birth? I know you can’t make love for 6 weeks, but how long would it be after your first menstraul before you can start practicing it?March 2, 2006 at 10:45 pm #2696
I just have to say that God has impecable timing sometimes!! I had forgotten that I had ordered a trial issue of Faith and Family magazine after receiving an offer in the mail about it. I was very surprised and excited when I got it today. There was an awesome article in there written by Sara Fox Peterson who writes for CatholicMom.com titled “When Couples Disagree about Contraception.” She gives 4 steps to take when you feel the Lord telling you to give NFP a chance and your spouse is at best skeptical. I could share some of these with anyone interested who does not have access to this magazine but without reading the article for yourself much would be lost. I would highly recommend tracking down a copy of this magazine and reading this article. If you get on their website they will send you a free copy I believe (http://www.faithand familymag.com). There is an article that follows it that compares romance (with NFP) to chocolate in lent! I think those that practice nfp can really relate to that! The author of that article says that many couples hold back from nfp out of fear. The wife fears that her dh will be unsatisfied by a decrease in opportunities to be together and a husband fears pregnancy. Her experience is that it increased the amound of sex that she and her husband had because they took full advantage of every opportunity during non-fertile times. And it really sounds like it keeps the spark in their marriage. Anyway, I thought I would let you know about these articles. Also, some other resources listed were: BOMA-USA.org
CCLI.org CreightonModel.com FamilyPlanning.net OMSoul.com and numerous books and cds.
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