Modest dress

This topic contains 27 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by  catholicforlife 6 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #2118

    Anyone dress modestly….

    #3440

    It depends on your definition of modest. :) I don’t wear skirts to my ankles all the time and collars up to my chin, but I consider myself modest. What I wear shouldn’t be an occasion of sin for anyone. ;)

    #3441

    @catholicapmom wrote:

    It depends on your definition of modest. :) I don’t wear skirts to my ankles all the time and collars up to my chin, but I consider myself modest. What I wear shouldn’t be an occasion of sin for anyone. ;)

    nice way to put it! I notice at latin mass most of the women dress modest. I also noticed all the women usually wear long skirts at least past their knees. I think it is very nice to keep that time about Jesus instead of what your wearing or how you are dressed. I just can’t believe how some people dress to go to mass. Like they are going out to the local bar or something. Jeans and shirts that show cleavage and flip flops. I think it is sad that people don’t take the time to prepare themselves to look nice for Jesus.

    #3442

    mommandm
    Member

    On a side note…

    This is actually an issue that was part of why I hesitated in learning more about and eventually joining the catholic faith. I would go to mass, and everywhere you look are girls dressed like they’re ready to go clubbing! :o In the baptist church I formerly attended, they had a strict dress code. It seemed odd to me that the one true church would be filled with immodestly dressed ladies. Its sad, because its mostly younger ladies who dress this way. I don’t think they understand what they’re doing.

    A REALLY great book I just finished this evening is called Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond. Definitely worth checking out! You don’t have to be plain and frumpy to be modestly dressed. Look at statues of our blessed mother – she is so beautiful! Colleen has on her website several online shops that sell modest clothing.

    To answer the original question, I try to dress modestly. Its a little difficult right now because, primarily, my idea of modesty has changed dramatically, and also I still haven’t dropped all of my weight from my last pregnancy, so my shirts are too tight. Many of the tops I considered a staple in my wardrobe before I wouldn’t touch anymore. I also am going to try to get rid of my pants and *hopefully* dress only in skirts and dresses. Colleen’s book includes a portion on why wearing pants are immodest. She gives a very compelling argument, but its going to be hard to give up my jeans!! And I can’t exactly go out and buy a whole new wardrobe so it will have to be a gradual change. But I love the challenge of finding quality items at a low price so it’ll be fun :D

    #3443

    Oh, it is ridiculous what some mothers let their teenaged girls where to Mass. It’s disgusting and sad. One time we went to Mass and a teen had a shirt down to there and a skirt up to here, flip flops and we didn’t have to guess what type of undies she was wearing. I told my dh that I hoped our dd would never wear an outfit like that to Mass and he said ‘look at how the mom is dressed…’ she was dressed the same way! 8O

    Honestly, I think women that dress like that just don’t fully understand that they’re visiting Our Lord when they go to Mass.

    #3444

    andrea
    Member

    I’m going to be completely honest here. I used to not dress very nice to church. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, I guess I just never gave it the time or thought as to what I was portraying. I’m still not perfect, but I try to look nice and dress modestly. I think would like to read that book that someone posted above. I have to say though (not trying to be mean) I don’t want to wear dresses all the time. This is a subject I still need to learn more about. I agree though that a lot of what people wear to church is NOT okay, but then again a lot of what people wear in general is NOT okay, in my eyes. Andrea

    #3445

    mommandm
    Member

    Andrea, I didn’t want to wear dresses all the time either!! But this book really changed my perspective. And if we’re being totally honest I used to dress very immodestly! :oops: I went through a rebellious stage during high school and college.

    #3446

    julka
    Member

    It also kinda varies from parish to parish. Like, in some parishes they have special dress-wear for the altar servers, the choir, and so on, while in others they don’t. There was one parish where I attended Mass, and during the procession in the beginning, there was a guy who looked around 15 and he was carrying the Bible… in any case, I looked at his t-shirt and it was black with a huge white skull on the front. I thought it was pathetic.

    #3447

    andrea
    Member

    I think I need to be a little better with how I dress. Sometimes my shirts are a bit too tight, but being pregnant and then not pregnant really messes your wardrobe up. Your boobs are huge at one point being your nursing, then weaning. Ahhh! I don’t want to go buy a whole wardrobe depending on my size at the moment – and sense I’ve gotten married it’s REALLY changed. =) I’m going to read that book – I try to keep my eyes open. I do have a question – what is wrong with wearing flip flops to church? I never wear them in a bad way – but I wear them with khaki’s or black pants, never like I’m going to the beach. Some flip flops are more dressy than others. I was just wondering. Andrea

    #3448

    mommandm
    Member

    @andrea wrote:

    I think I need to be a little better with how I dress. Sometimes my shirts are a bit too tight, but being pregnant and then not pregnant really messes your wardrobe up. Your boobs are huge at one point being your nursing, then weaning. Ahhh! I don’t want to go buy a whole wardrobe depending on my size at the moment – and sense I’ve gotten married it’s REALLY changed. =) I’m going to read that book – I try to keep my eyes open. I do have a question – what is wrong with wearing flip flops to church? I never wear them in a bad way – but I wear them with khaki’s or black pants, never like I’m going to the beach. Some flip flops are more dressy than others. I was just wondering. Andrea

    I really think its case-by-case with the flip-flops, and other things as well. I have some cutesie ones that would be dressy enough for church, but I have other ones that are kinda grubby. I like ballet flats, they’re comfy, easy to run in when your toddler takes off, and still dressy. And you can find some pretty cheap!

    I think more than immodesty, I have a hard time with vanity. I like to look pretty, and I have a hard time finding the line between making myself look respectable and obsessing over how i look. I really struggle with that.

    #3449

    @MommaNDM wrote:

    @andrea wrote:
    I think I need to be a little better with how I dress. Sometimes my shirts are a bit too tight, but being pregnant and then not pregnant really messes your wardrobe up. Your boobs are huge at one point being your nursing, then weaning. Ahhh! I don’t want to go buy a whole wardrobe depending on my size at the moment – and sense I’ve gotten married it’s REALLY changed. =) I’m going to read that book – I try to keep my eyes open. I do have a question – what is wrong with wearing flip flops to church? I never wear them in a bad way – but I wear them with khaki’s or black pants, never like I’m going to the beach. Some flip flops are more dressy than others. I was just wondering. Andrea

    I really think its case-by-case with the flip-flops, and other things as well. I have some cutesie ones that would be dressy enough for church, but I have other ones that are kinda grubby. I like ballet flats, they’re comfy, easy to run in when your toddler takes off, and still dressy. And you can find some pretty cheap!

    I think more than immodesty, I have a hard time with vanity. I like to look pretty, and I have a hard time finding the line between making myself look respectable and obsessing over how i look. I really struggle with that.

    Flip flops in my opinion are for the beach or whatever not for church they just aren’t respectful you wouldn’t wear them to a funeral or a wedding so why wear them to church? ballet flats are different then flip flops. your feet aren’t hanging out all over the place. I admit I’m sure I have worn them once before I knew better. When your going to church you aren’t going to be dressy or to have vanity you are going to serve God. God doesn’t care what you look like or how much make up you have on or what kind of bag you are carrying. None of that will matter when you have eternal life with him. In my opinion (take it or leave it not trying to be rude) flip flops are for leisure not for church. You are going to church for Jesus, not for yourself. Your grandma wouldn’t of worn flip flops to church any day of the week. Tradition is what you should be worried about. Not fashion. The catholic church is based on tradition.

    #3450

    andrea
    Member

    I understand what your saying about not wearing the flip flops to wedding’s, funerals, etc. I can totally see that- I wouldn’t do it. I will leave my beachy flip flops for home and out and about. My heeled ones that look dressy for church. I agree too that the church is based on tradition, not what’s fashionable at the moment. God doesn’t care. I guess I should say I do have more of a problem with vanity than immodesty, and need to work on both. I don’t have to have the designer things, but I like to look like I have some style. Where do you draw the line? I grew up with hand be downs, and thrift hand store clothes. I have no problem with this and love a good find, but I also love to shop for cute things too – that are within a reasonable price. Is it being vain spending too much money on things? Truthfully I’m not one of those people that go out and spend even $20 on a shirt. I guess I need black and white lines! I’m more about comfort and being able to get around with a toddler then anything anymore. And of course being pregnant it limits you on things you can wear. I don’t like to wear those big shirts that make you look like a box though. Maybe I’m just too in the mindset of how I’m looking then what really matters?? I’m talking about in general dressing, not just to church.
    Ugh! Lately I’ve been finding all these things that I thought were okay that I’m not doing so well on. Not that it’s a bad thing, I think it’s always good to strive to be a better person – it’s just kind of overwhelming right now.

    #3451

    mommandm
    Member

    One thing that really stuck with me from the book that I mentioned before was the way St. Padre Pio regarded the issue of modesty in women, particularly:

    1. That he refused a woman absolution until she quit selling ladies’ pantsuits in her boutique. She had to dispose of them in a way that they wouldn’t end up being worn.

    2. He refused confession to immodestly dressed women – meaning their skirts had to be at least 8 inches below their knees, their tights couldn’t be see-through (do they even sell tights like that anymore for adults?!), there arms were covered, and their shirts were not low cut. They actually started hanging a sign outside the church saying something along the lines of, “padre pio will not see ladies for confessional without proper attire, and borrowing someone’s skirt once inside doesn’t count” because the priests were embarrassed by the fuss it was causing.

    Those points really stuck with me as I was thinking about this post. Just thought I’d share :D

    #3452

    andrea
    Member

    I just ordered that book Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond. I’m not saying I’m going to want to start wearing dresses but it never hurts to open your eyes and listen/read what’s our there. Well sometimes! I’ll have to let you girls know what I think of it. Andrea

    #3453

    Work atire: Nice pair of dress slacks with dark shirt and opened button-up shirt. Mass: Either a skirt just above the knees with the tops that I wear every day, or just what I wear to work.

    When I’m at home, however, I just let loose (since all I have right now is a hubby and six month old) and just wear whatever is comfy. Some of it could be considered immodest, but it’s just me wearing it at home when it’s just the three of us.

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