Is It Possible for Toddler to be too attached to Mom?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  elisa 7 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #2029

    josie
    Member

    I’ve kind of been getting a little flack from people on my husband’s side of the family because my DD who is 2 always wants “mommy”. My DH gives her attention everyday when he comes home; it’s just… well, she’s 2! and I’m a SAHM, so of course she’s used to me. However, I’m getting an over-acknowledgement that “Sofia always wants mommy” and “when am I going to think about putting her into preschool?” I’m also getting the question of why we’re not putting her into something like dance or Gymboree… (Yeah right, like money grows on trees!)

    Honestly, my mom was a SAHM and I didn’t even know what preschool was and when we went to kindergarten, we didn’t have any dettachement problems from our mom.

    I guess hate feeling defenisve about my own kids. We’re not even planning on sending DD to preschool & are even contemplating homeschooling yet relatives are acting like my 2 yr old (yes, she’s only 2!) is too attached! Has anyone else experienced this?

    #3124

    fredar
    Member

    Josie,

    My oldest and my youngest are both like that.

    You cannot force independence on a child. It develops. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, told me how my oldest would be ruined if I didn’t leave him with a sitter/daycare/preschool right away. There were horrible predictions about how he would be 15 years old and need me to come with him on dates because he wouldn’t be able to be away from me, etc, etc.

    I ignored all the nay-sayers. When my son wanted me I let him have me. I let him know that I would always be available to meet his needs, and he learned to be secure.

    Results: last month when he started Kindergarten, he ran off to play without looking back. In fact, he didn’t even say goodbye. He has no difficulty whatsoever. I will do things exactly the same with my youngest.

    Do what you feel is right in your heart. Your children are YOUR children. I hope this helps.

    Freda

    #3125

    amby
    Member

    Do what you feel! Your child is still a baby (imo). They need to know you will be there whenever and for whatever reason! She is not always going to be hanging on your shirttail.
    It makes me sad that my 3 1/2 and 2 year old are always wanting to be held. They have each other to play with. But they will come up (quite often) and crawl in my lap and just sit or lay for a few minutes. They then give me kisses and run away. It’s sad and a joy. They know I’m there when needed.
    I had to send my kids to a babysitter. We are working very hard for me to be home, but right now it’s not feasible. BUT my kids know that I will come get them.

    Attachment Parenting is a great way to teach your children independence. :D Serously.

    #3126

    michelle123
    Member

    Josie….

    I swear we must have the same family some days! :lol:

    We went through this, too. Mostly, it was criticism that we hardly ever hired babysitters to go out, and we take the kids with us most places (especially vacation.)

    When our oldest DD was under two, she was deathly afraid of the swings on the playground. A family member saw this and commented that I really need to get her to the playgound for playgroups more so she won’t be afraid of the swings. SORRY….but she was almost four before she learned to enjoy them. You can’t force a child to experience things before they’re ready. Makes them neurotic, IMHO!

    We’ve never done organized activities before the children were at least four (with exception of DD #3 who started dance at three and a half after BEGGING for dance lessons.). Some kids are ready earlier, but ours never seemed to be.

    BTW…read an article in the newspaper about the new American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation that children be allowed to have unscheduled, unchoreographed play activity for the majority of their day. I’ll try to find the article and post it here. seems related to your question.

    #3127

    michelle123
    Member

    Found the article…..published yesterday.

    I’m going to try to post the link. WARNING: This is a long report….but interesting and worthwhile!

    http://www.aap.org/pressroom/playFINAL.pdf

    #3128

    My first son has always been shy and loves to snuggle with his mommy and hold my hand whenever we go anywhere. Now that he’s 4, as soon as he sees the neighbor boy get home from school he’s like “C-ya mom! ” (Of course, I go outside with him while they ride bikes/play for safety purposes, but he does play with his friends without interference from me) Your kids will develop in their own time. Don’t worry what other people say. We tried preschool when DS was 3 and he never had a problem being away from me, but told me it was boring and he didn’t learn anything, he just spent time watching other kids misbehave. After 6 months, we decided homeschooling was best for our family and we LOVE it. Yes, you will get flack from lots of people but who cares, I know in my heart it is the best for both my boys in the end. My oldest son turned 4 in June and can already read because I spend time with him and he learns so much. And he does go to gymnastics for 2 hours a week, as well as swimming lessons. He also plays with the kids in the neighborhood without me. I know he feels secure enough to leave me for a short time and know I will always be back for him.
    BOTTOM line…Do what you know is right for you and your kiddo. You know your child’s personality and what works for them. Don’t look at what everyone else is doing…I’ve found most people are only concerned about how soon they can get rid of their kid so they can have their “me” time. If you love being with your kids, and they love being with you than just enjoy your time together as a family!
    Merry Christmas!
    Heather
    Mommy to 2 boys

    #3129

    elisa
    Member

    My son is like that…but he’s only 1.
    Some of my family makes comments like: “He’s such a momma’s boy”…and I answer with: “Better now than when he’s 25!”
    Basically, I think he can be a momma’s boy all he wants when he’s young because it’ll only make him more independent when he’s older.

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