June 29, 2006 at 8:20 pm #1987
My husband and I are both Catholic. The only difference is he was only baptised, I have had all the sacraments-except our marriage isnt reconized by the Church. The main reason is I was married before (for a whole 6 months) but even if I get the marraige annauled, my husband doesnt want to have our marraige blessed by the church. In fact he doesnt belive in what the church teaches. He only goes to mass on Easter, sometime Christmas. He claims to be catholic (though he puts down “non denominational” on forms). He critizes holy days and the churches teachings. However, we have agreed that the kids will be raised Catholic, but when they finish their confirmation he wants them to be able to choose to continue to go to church! I think that is ridiculos. Can someone please help me? I dont mind him not going to church or being not catholic but what can i do about the critizim?July 1, 2006 at 2:24 am #2957
Yikes! I am sooooo sorry! It must be really frustrating for you! I’d like to encourage you to go ahead and look into an annulment for your sake and your children’s. While it’s easy to say, I promise you, your good example as a Catholic will not go unnoticed by your husband. I was raised in a very Catholic home yet my husband was raised in a “culturally” Catholic home and while his parents go to mass sometimes, it is not every Sunday and Confession… well, a whole other issue with them. Long and short of it, my husband learned more about the faith through the Catholic university we attended (where we met) and he is slowly learning more and more. I have seen my husband come around on some things after I was consistent in doing them myself. While there are times he thinks I’m an eccentric about the faith, when I do actual put my foot down, he usually comes around… My only other recommendation besides looking into the annulment, is that if you can get to Eucharistic Adoration – even if it’s just 5 minutes, simply go and beg Our Lord while you’re there to hear what is in your heart about your husband. After all, there’s nothing like addressing your worries and placing them right in fron of Him! Both of these are opportunities to give you the grace you need.
Just know, God wants the same thing as you do for your husband and you, to be in union with the One True Church. I’ll remember you in my prayers as I am guessing this must be pretty distressing. I know there are tthings that I really wish my husband had the same zeal for when it comes to the faith.
p.s. leave an easy to read book lying around in the bathroom that has something to do with the faith – not a huge novel but something simple or even a Catholic newspaper. When he’s in there w/the door closed, I bet he might take a peek at it!July 1, 2006 at 4:15 am #2958
If you get your marriage annulled, you can ask your priest about a procedure called a radical sanation – it is a method of having your marriage blessed that does not require your husband to be there or have anything to do with it. He does not even have to know. The Church specifically designed it for people in your situation, so that you do not have to remain unable to receive the sacraments. Basically, it is a declaration stating that the original vows you and your hubby exchanged, wherever and whenever that was, are being accepted by the Church as valid, and your marriage is being validated retroactively back to the date when you first got married.
I strongly encourage you to do this, because when you do, you and your husband will receive all the sacramental graces from the sacrament of marriage, and that can work miracles for the quality of your marriage and your husband’s re-conversion to the Church.
FredaAugust 2, 2006 at 10:19 pm #2959
I’m so sorry to hear this. Please know that you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.September 2, 2009 at 3:32 am #2960
“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven”-Matthew 5:16
I think that sums it up. I know how difficult this is for you, but if you live your life the best way you know how and try to “let your light shine” so to speak, I know your husband will come to believe. And even if he never does, like you said he is a great guy and a loving husband. Everything will be ok.
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