Holding Baby Too Much???

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  autumnw 7 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #2074

    I know that they say that as a newborn you can’t spoil them by holding them too much, however, I do know that later in their life you can spoil them by holding them too much.

    At what age does this begin to happen, the spoiling by holding them too much?

    #3294

    julka
    Member

    I read once that around 6 months they begin to be more aware of those things. Up until 6 months you cannot spoil them.

    #3295

    Thank you for your input! :)

    #3296

    andrea
    Member

    I held my son all the time – now he’s 1 1/2 years old and he knows if he’s sad or has hurt himself that I will love him and hold him. He’s not spoiled at all. :) I’m pregnant with number two and I’m planning on using the baby sling to carry he/she around as much as possible. I think it’s a wonderful bonding relationship and I don’t understand how carrying could ever spoil a child! :D That’s my experience!

    #3297

    catholicmoms
    Member

    Hi,
    I don’t think you can spoil a baby by holding him too much. This is how babies bond and show their love for you. There is a new article posted on the Catholic Moms web site called “How Your Baby Learns to Love”. Check it out at:
    http://catholicmoms.com/modules.php?name=News&file=categories&op=newindex&catid=3

    Have a Blessed Day,
    Renee

    #3298

    crys
    Member

    Consider this– a child’s IQ is formed in the first couple of years of life. What is the #1 thing correlated with a high IQ???
    Amount of time the mother spends nurturing the child.

    If you want a smart, independent, and caring child later, give it all the attention you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    At about 1 year, they naturally start working to get AWAY from you to go exploring ,so you won’t be stuck with a child in your lap forever!!

    #3299

    julka
    Member

    Not necessarily.
    I’ve seen plenty of 4 year old whose moms ‘baby’ them around.. all they do is sit on the couch and suck their thumb all day, crying for mommy to pick them up.
    I pick my daughter up whenever she’s really upset, but not everytime she whines because usually she drifts to sleep following that. She wakes up happy and playful. I don’t have problems with CIO if the baby’s just crying when they need to be sleeping, because 99% of the time, she does fall asleep in the end. I don’t CIO for more than 5 mins, but it never is more than 5 mins to begin with.

    #3300

    sahm-o-my
    Member

    I have 5 children. I have been very, very big on holding and baby wearing. I’ve read up on it, as well.

    This is what I can tell you. You CAN NOT hold a baby too much! NO such thing! The more you hold them, now, the less they’ll need and want it later! The more you respond to their cries or get to them before they cry (when you see the melt down or know the cues) the less often they’ll cry, the sooner they’ll recognize their impending need to cry, the sooner they’ll learn to turn to you or rely on self-soothing, and the less crying they’ll do, over all (they don’t learn that that is the way to get attention or comfort and you know when they DO cry, there is something definitely wrong)!

    My fourth child is special needs with cerebral palsy. Usually these children are very untouchable and hands-off. Most of this is due to being in the NICU and being poked and prodded. I was in the NICU every day holding her in a sling and using Kangaroo Care. She is very social, despite her inabilities. She tries to interact with people and is a pure pleasure to the PTs and OTs in her programs that try to help her. She is more responsive to help due to her social nature and responds very well to attention. When she cries, we KNOW something is wrong! It’s one of the only ways she can communicate with us, as she cannot talk, yet.

    My standard gift for every baby shower or new baby is to give a baby sling. I LOVE them!

    I have noticed the difference in children that were held often and those that were put down, allowed to cry often, and who’s mothers resisted picking them up.

    There isn’t a real poin to stop holding them. Some need very little holding, others need a lot more. I have children with varying needs of attention and contact. It’s all individual! When they decide to explore and gain confidence, let them. They decide how much holding they want or need.

    They are only little once! If you don’t hold them now, you won’t be able to later!

    Best wishes and God Bless!

    #3301

    autumnw
    Member

    SAHM-O-MY you are right on! The more you respond to your baby before he has to melt down the more he knows that you will be there and therefore doesn’t need to melt down in the future.

    I don’t lay my boy down to sleep by himself. I either carry him in his mae tai (which is where he nurses to sleep most of the time anyway) or I lay down with him (at night.) This way when he starts to root in his sleep I feed him right then and he doesn’t wake up he just stays asleep. He is 3 months old and sleeps about 12 hours at night and takes a 6 hour nap in the middle of the day.

    Babies that have their basic needs met easily are free to learn and absorb more since they don’t have to focus on their basic needs. It’s the hierarchy of needs. They actually teach about the hierarchy in psychology classes. These children grow up to be more confident and secure with themselves because they didn’t have to beg to have their basic needs met.

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