Having an issue with family….

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  josie 7 years, 9 months ago.

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  • #2021

    jennifer8001
    Member

    Hello all, I’m new here :D

    Here’s my problem:

    My DH and I have a very mixed family, he has 3 children from a previous marriage (ages 19, 18 & 16) He was a widow when I met him. He is also 39 (I am 26). His children are now starting to have their own lives and one of his daughters is even expecting her first child. His 16 year old son lives with us. The two girls live on their own. I have a son from a previous marriage as well my ex decided to leave me when my son was 3 months old…and I raised him by myself until I ment DH and he has been a god send. My DH and I have been together for 7 years and married for 5, we also have 2 children together.

    Our problem is we would like to have more children, and have been discussing the conception of number 3 by the end of the year. The two girls we have already, have a genetic disorder, but it is totally managable by diet, and they are normal, happy, healthy children…there is also a 1 in 4 chance with each pregnancy that, that child would also have the disorder…

    Both of our families….and I do mean everyone, are pushing for me to get my tubes done…when I tell them that I don’t believe in that, they beg me to go on birth control…this really upsets me. I am very close to my SIL and have mentioned recently that we are thinking about having another child…she not only flipped out on me but went back and told everyone else as well..so now everytime my DH and I go to family functions…our child bearing is the hot topic of conversation led by everyone telling us not to have anymore children…and this upsets DH and I greatly.

    We love our family and want them to be a part of our lives …but what can we do?

    #3098

    fredar
    Member

    Hi Jennifer,

    We have the same problem, and it infuriates me. It should be no one’s business but ours, how many children we have and when.

    I think that when family oversteps their bounds in this way, repeatedly, then the time to be nice has past. Next time a relative brings up the subject, tell them very firmly that you will live your life as you see fit, which is in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church, and that this topic is no longer up for discussion. Period. Then change the subject. Repeat as necessary. They should hopefully get the hint. After all, most of them would never tolerate you intruding on their personal lives in this way.

    I hope this helps,
    Freda

    #3099

    celticspirit
    Member

    @FredaR wrote:

    Hi Jennifer,

    We have the same problem, and it infuriates me. It should be no one’s business but ours, how many children we have and when.

    I think that when family oversteps their bounds in this way, repeatedly, then the time to be nice has past. Next time a relative brings up the subject, tell them very firmly that you will live your life as you see fit, which is in accordance with the teachings of the Catholic Church, and that this topic is no longer up for discussion. Period. Then change the subject. Repeat as necessary. They should hopefully get the hint. After all, most of them would never tolerate you intruding on their personal lives in this way.

    I hope this helps,
    Freda

    I totally agree!!!! My MIL is a nightmare about this topic and repeatedly has told us we’re crazy for having 3 children.

    #3100

    jennifer8001
    Member

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one dealing with this. It’s very upsetting. Thank you for the great advice :D

    #3101

    josie
    Member

    Yuppers! You’re DEFININTELY not only – esp. around here. We all get it if we have more than 2 kids or have 2 too close in age for people to accept.

    Freda is right – you have no choice BUT to be firm and politely blunt; otherwise you will hear it until kingdom comes! God bless you efforts to live according to the magisterium. Much love and many prayers!

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