Dating

This topic contains 7 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  ashersmomma 6 years ago.

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  • #2228

    When are parents suppose to be ok with their daughter meeting boys ?

    -Melissa

    #3854

    ashersmomma
    Member

    If you would have asked this question before I became a mother, I would have said MUCH younger than I would now! It of course depends on the maturity level of the girl, her moral convictions, and oddly enough her relationship with her father. A young girl who’s father is either not around or distant (emotionally) sends up a warning flag in my mind…this coming from a woman who had a father who was VERY distant emotionally and have done a bit of research into the long term effects of it.
    Boys engage in sexual behavior usually for different reasons (not just hormones either). The number one reason (no big surprise here) girls become sexual is to feel loved and to fill a void. If a girl has never been told how special she is, that she is beautiful, she is a treasure…or things of this nature, has been hugged and paid attention to BY A FATHER FIGURE, the chances of her becoming sexually active at a young age are MUCH higher. Even if your daughter is a “Tom Boy” or doesnt even seem that interested in boys, the void is still there.

    Group dating always seems to be the safe alternative. Parents think that if their child goes to the mall or movies with a group of friends then “what could happen”…everything that could still happen if it was a one on one date only now they have look-outs.

    Truly knowing your child, spending ALOT of personal time with them, raising them in the church, teaching them about the importance of abstaining at an early age, knowing their friends, talking to the parents and telling the parents YOUR rules are so important. Hopefully doing these things will make it easier for us to know when our children are ready…God I hope so!!!
    A video/DVD that I HIGHLY recommend that is very Catholic and full of truth and teaches it on a level your kids will understand is “Romance Without Regret”. Here is the info on it and other supportive material all Catholic based…YAY!
    At the below website you can listen to “Romance Without Regret” before you order it and SO MUCH other cool stuff for your teen or pre-teen.
    http://www.pureloveclub.com

    “When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: it will be a crown of triumph. ” St. Josemaria Escriva

    #3855

    always….

    #3856

    IMHO, if a girl likes a boy, I’d encourage them to pursue a friendship with the boy, instead of trying to get the boy to ask her out. Friendships will last longer, and be more beneficial. After all, we do marry our best friends ;)

    Encourage friends of both sexes, and you will know when your daughter is ready to date. As much as we’d like to keep our children from dating until they’re 31, we all know that this is extreme. Many parents have a rule of no ‘alone’ dating until at least the age 16.

    #3858

    sunnyone
    Member

    I logged on today to find advice for my 13 yo son who recently started a friendship with a girl in his class. They have gone to the movies with other students and a parent or two, and AIM each other often. When the girl is at my home, they sit together. My DH and me are not ready for this!! I am not sure about the girl’s dad, I think he is in the picture. But she seems to push the physical relationship, hugging and such. I am worried!! I am about to give my son one of those purity kits – a ring and certificate saying he will wait til marriage for sex. Is it too early??? We go to church but the girl is not catholic.

    #3859

    ashersmomma
    Member

    Hi Sunnyone, I am so nervous for the day my son brings home a girl…AHHH! I definetely do not think it is too early for the purity topic!! Unfortunately, kids are having sex earlier and earlier. The average age when I was in H.S was about 17. Now it seems to be more like 14…don’t cry! I cannot stress enough the power of Jason Everett’s “pure love” approach. They really do get on their level and help parents understand and help their children with this battle. I encourage you to check out the website and listen to the sound feed of “Romance Without Regret” and see if this is for your family. There is even a whole section about “how to give a chastity talk”. Here is what their homepage says:

    The new sexual revolution is here.

    Hook-ups, friends with benefits, safe sex, and now safer sex? Our generation found out the hard way that none of it gives us the love we long for.

    Romance without regret does exist. But if you want the real thing, be prepared to sacrifice. Only then will you see that the peace and joy that comes from chastity is worth more than all the pleasures of the world.

    Within the pages of pureloveclub.com, you are going to find blunt, honest, and uplifting reasons for why you’re worth waiting for. No fear tactics. No guilt trips. Just the demands of authentic human love.

    http://www.pureloveclub.com

    Peace be with you, Gina

    #3860

    ashersmomma
    Member

    Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,

    —Ephesians 6:10-18

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