April 30, 2005 at 6:18 pm #1935
Today my DS1 is making his First Reconciliation. This event has made me examine myself. I generally go once a year. I know I should go more often….. I get so worked up that it is somtimes hard to go even then. I am going to try to go more often – like once a month. I was just wondering what the norm was for everyone. EricaApril 30, 2005 at 7:06 pm #2551
I answered never but that really isn’t the truth but I don’t go once or twice a year though either. I will be the first to admit I don’t go nearly as often as I should. I get myself so worked up when I am going to go that I usually stress myself out so much that I don’t even go. I go maybe once every other year. I have such a fear of going to confession and I am not really sure why. When I was younger(still living at home) we would go as a family to confession every other month on Saturday before mass. After I left the “nest” and was on my own I fell away from church for some time before finding my way back. I have only gone to confession a handful of times since becoming active in the church again. I really am trying hard to figure out why I get so worked up about going to confession. I don’t know if part of it is that we are in a new parish and I don’t really know the priests, I don’t know if part of it is that it is all face to face confessions in our new parish vs. behind a screen at our old parish growing up. I am going to work on going more often though!April 30, 2005 at 7:06 pm #2552
You must have been reading my mind on this one. I have been having an internal conflict about this for some time. I always wondered if I was the only one who didn’t go as often as I should.May 1, 2005 at 4:15 pm #2553
Thank you so much for your honesty. I know exactly how you feel. I sat in church for 20 minutes telling myself and my son I was not going – mind you he had just went and said it wasn’t that tough. Then my friend (who just went trough RCIA nudged me and said ” You will feel better if you go – if you leave here without going you will feel worse”. I knew she was right. She said she would sit and pray with me. There were 4 priests on hand to hear confession. There was only one though that gave you the option of not facing him. I went and got in his line, but the line was so long for him ( wonder why ). Finally the nicest ( as in friendly ) looking priest ( with the round belly and kind smile ) came in to hear confession that I ran over there and was 3rd in line. It went well and I did feel so much better. My friend said that in RCIA they taught that the priests have to at least give you the option not to face the them. My MIL says that she only goes when they give this option. Maybe you could find out if this option is given – if it is not I would see if I could request it ( if that would make you feel more at ease ). Also maybe you may have someone who would go with you for support. Also, you can make appointments with the priests to talk with them about your fears and then have confession right then. That was how I did it the last time. I will pray for you. I am definately going to go again with in the next month or two because I think it will be easier that way. Pope John Paul II went daily. If he went that often then I know I need to go more.
EricaMay 2, 2005 at 1:22 pm #2554
Thanks for your encouraging words. I have been wanting to go and talk to our priest for some time but unfortunately have not mad ean appointment because I don’t have anyone to watch my boys and I don’t really want to take them with me. Our parish offers confession every Saturday and I am assuming by appointment too. I still have a lot to learn about this new parish as far as the in and outs go with what they offer and when.
I would appreciate any prayers for helping me get over this fear. I think about this almost daily and still can’t figure out why I get so nervous, stressed etc… I am definately going to conquer this fear before the end of the year(I would like to say in the next month or so but I know that won’t happen, just being honest )May 11, 2005 at 4:41 am #2555
I try to go once a month. I love all the priests at my parish, and feel comfortable with any of them. I used to be terrified of confession. One day I just decided to start making more of a commitment to it, though. I realized that I could live in fear of confession the rest of my life, or force myself to go each month for awhile, until it became more natural, and then truly reap the benefits of confession, thus allowing it to help me become a better person, and a better Catholic. It wasn’t easy at first, but I love going to confession now. Our priests are also good at giving penance that will help us focus on the problem, rather than having us recite 10 hail mary’s and be done with it. Personally, I also like the face to face confessions. I wasn’t comfortable at first, but I love being able to look the priest in the eye. It really does feel like I am just having a conversation with God. Anyways, I encourage you all to try going to confession more often. It does become less nerve-wracking as time goes on.
I’m sorry, I just re-read that, and I am by no means trying to make myself sound superior to any of you. I truly look up to all of you, and love your compassion for each other. I just wanted to let you all know that it really can get easier, and there is nothing to be afraid of!! Sorry if I came off too harsh.May 11, 2005 at 3:29 pm #2556
Don’t worry, you didn’t sound superior. You were just explaining the process you went through to become more comfortable with frequent confession. I honestly want to be where you are now ( comfortable with confession ). Thank you for your words of encourgement. EricaJune 2, 2005 at 5:48 am #2557
I love the honesty – and the inspirational words/motivational. I go usually once a year since having children. Our parishes still have the old confessional, but at a Mission we had with a Passionist priest in 2001 it was face to face. I found that hard. I also get very worked up – it’s hard to say my failings out loud to another person, I guess. I do feel better after. I would like to go more often (maybe every few months), but confession is only offered Saturdays. My husband wants to be out and about at this time. I don’t have family in the city, and babysitters cost $15/hr if the children are awake (not the $2/hr I made as a teen 20 years ago!!). It just doesn’t work for me. Sometimes they have reconciliation services at 7 p.m., but that doesn’t work for bedtime routine for little ones. I guess when they’re older. Thanks for the food for thought.June 2, 2005 at 2:06 pm #2558
I went this past weekend at a different parish. I decided to go face to face. I hadn’t done it that way since I was in high school so I was really nervous. It was amazing!!!!! I felt better than I had in months!!! The priest was super nice and said a prayer with me before we started which really opened my heart. I think it really helped me to experience Christ’s forgiveness and grace by going face to face. I’ll definately do it that way again next time.June 2, 2005 at 8:12 pm #2559
I’m just like most of you…only go once or twice a year and then it is because my husband is going and I’ll feel guilty if he goes and I don’t. I grew up protestant, and we didn’t have confession. When I joined the catholic church, confession was the one thing that I just couldn’t totally embrace. I will say that I feel better after I have gone, I just can’t seem to get myself there very often.
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