April 14, 2005 at 5:43 am #1931
How do I explain NFP to my non-Christian husband?
His first question: What is the difference between using a condom and abstaining from intercourse during your fertile time? Both are preventing conception.April 14, 2005 at 2:08 pm #2403
Hello. This is a hard one. I am not really sure if you could explain it so that he will agree with it. I am sure that how I explain it to you will seem silly. Here it goes,this is a summary from all that I have studied,any one – young, old, smart, not so smart, good, bad,single, part of a couple….- can have protected sex with anyone they want to to fullfill their personal ( selfish ) desires. Protected sex is a way of making sure it is about you and no one else- your wishes and wants. People everywhere everyday have protected sex with people they wouldn’t buy lunch for – because that would be giving something to them – not fullfilling there own need. When a man and a women commit themselves to marriage they lose the “me” and become “we” – letting go of the self centered attitude ( or at least we try to ). Having natural sex (unprotected) with our spouse if like reconfirmimg every time- “I give you everything that I am”. The periods of abstaining are supposed to be times when you give to each other spiritually – making the next time you come together that much more special. I am sure to some this seems silly, and if I am wrong please let me know.
Also, EWTN’s wesite has a great question and answer section in their Faith department. There is a whole section on NFP that you can search back a couple of months or even ask an expert yourself.
I hope this is helpful. I am sure that from a nonchristian standpoint this all seems silly ( even most Protestant churches don’t have a problem with birth control ). But I did read somewhere that the divorce rate for couples that use NFP is under 3% while the rest of society’s is 50%.
I will pray that in the Lord’s time and guidance you may find the right way to explain it. EricaApril 14, 2005 at 2:32 pm #2404
I second the info about EWTN! They have had some AWESOME programs about NFP! One show I saw described it as a “Couples-centered approach” to things. I thought that was a wonderful way to describe it.
A lot of people have the misconception that NFP is not effective….but they are wrong! Like I’ve said before, my children have been born by c-section, so a period of healing is absolutely necessary in between children.
We have had NO problems with spacing our children perfectly to allow for this (using NFP.) One of the EWTN progams also spoke about the Sisters in Calcutta teaching NFP to people in India, and the amazing rate of effectiveness there! It’s all in learning the right way to keep track of things, and, of course, learning to practice abstainance with your spouse at times. Personally, I see the abstainance part of NFP as such a blessing. It’s a time to really get to know your spouse better in ways other than the physical. KWIM?
Anyways….just my 2 cents!May 3, 2005 at 2:46 am #2405
I won’t go into all the reasons to give for NFP when Janet Smith has said it so eloquently! Go to omsoul.org and get her tape, “Contraception:why not?”
Sorry to post so long after your first post, but Ijust joined the formus.May 11, 2005 at 1:27 am #2406
Oh….I think that’s the lecture I saw on EWTN!! It was FABULOUS!!!June 6, 2005 at 3:49 am #2407
I am new here so I hope you don’t mind me butting in, but I just wanted to share my experience. My husband is a convert but was not Catholic after we had our first child. NFP was a big struggle for him because he grew up Christian and was taught that BC was okay as long as you were open to having children when the time was right. We tried NFP for a while but had a little trouble. It was kind of hard to keep up with it all, and we decided to hold off until things were a little less stressful. We had just had a baby. I started my period back though after 6 weeks (which at the time I didn’t fully realize that pacifiers weren’t good because they kept my baby from sucking from my nipple as much, which can lead to an early return of your period, I didn’t do the pacifier thing with my second though and didn’t have a period for 11 months, so it worked!) but that’s a little off topic!
I explained to my husband the reasons for NFP and how it would actually just make our marriage stronger (which it did, and it worked!) and he agreed and during the rough times, we only drew closer and learned to express our love in our ways. He enjoys me scratching his head and giving him back rubs, and I enjoy him brushing my hair and giving me back rubs as well. And you can’t beat snuggling! It also helps to foster good communication skills that will help your marriage in other aspects as well. So my advice is to fully explain the biblical reasons as well as the statistics of couples who use NFP vs BC and perhaps this will help him to understand. He may not agree with the biblical aspect, but perhaps he will understand and the evidence of a stronger marriage might appeal to him as well.April 16, 2007 at 4:21 pm #2408
His first question: What is the difference between using a condom and abstaining from intercourse during your fertile time? Both are preventing conception.
The difference is when you use a condom the act of preventing conception was commited by you. when you have intercourse during infertile times the infertility is a natural state created by God. God does not require that we have intercourse because we are fertile. Hope that helps.April 17, 2007 at 2:49 pm #2409
Please read the book: Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West. When I was deciding to become Catholic (I was raised Baptist) this is the only book that answered ALL my questions regarding this topic as well as celibate priests, homosexuality, celibacy within the marriage (why it can be good), NFP vs. ABC…
The writings in this book are taken from the writings of Pope John Paul and it is FULL of information. I don’t think anyone can explain it as well as West writes.
Just my experience as a new Catholic…
HeatherApril 18, 2007 at 4:30 pm #2410
I second the West book!!!! Excellent resource!
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