January 14, 2009 at 9:28 pm #2261
I’m new to the site and have a beautiful new 7 week old baby. I am a first time mom and I think I”m having some baby blues. I don’t really know what to do about it because I don’t think it’s full blown depression and I have no thoughts of hurting myself or my baby but I am sad A LOT. I don’t know how to talk about it with my husband or how to help myself feel better. I just feel so clingy and needy and I worry tell others will lead them to think I’m weak or crazy.
I worry my baby will sense this and I will harm her somehow emotionally because she sense I’m am distant in these first few important bonding weeks. I’m new in my town so I don’t really have many friends yet. I’m a professional and have chosen to stay home with my baby. I know this sounds bad but I’m a little scared of “mom’s groups” because I don’t want to become a frumpy stay at home mom. Maybe that is a horrible stereotype an I don’t mean to offend anyone out there but I thought I’d be honest about my fears and ask for you guys advice.
Thanks so much,
NewmommyJanuary 15, 2009 at 8:14 pm #3970
You Are Normal! Most of your ‘not so unusual’ feelings are quite possibly due to lack of sleep, and any (or all) of the 1,001 new changes that have just occurred in the past year! It is hard to look ahead right now, but too soon your dear little one will be doing things on her own and growing up to be a wonderful person! It’s hard to treasure this time when your exhausted and swamped in baby stuff, but it will come to an end at some point, and you’ll actually miss it!
I know this all too well ~ my oldest will be 16 in just a few months, and I’m not even forty yet! I miss those days with him, but thankfully I have my 3yr old to enjoy, and yet again, she’s now already a toddler!
Upon further reflection: Babyhood may possibly be a starter for the teenage emotion years ahead (in which will be outgrown too)! Though it may seem naught!
But first and foremost, keep your husband close, and God closer. Look to Mary for strength and courage. She is the Mother of Example!
Maybe approach your husband with the knowledge that he may not fully understand, but you need to vent. Just having someone listen, esp. him, will help! You may be surprised, and you’ll find out he’s stressing too, and is more than relieved to talk about it all.
I must go. I’ll keep your new family in my prayers. I wish you the best!January 16, 2009 at 5:48 pm #3971
First of all, congratulations on your new little blessing!
Second of all….oh yeah…I can relate to this!
Actually, getting out (even if it’s just to go walk around Walmart with the baby!) helps quite a bit, I’ve found.
I remember being in the hospital with our third (we have 5), and the nurse coming in to give me “the disharge talk.” It included her saying, “If you feel yourself feeling weepy, etc…that’s completely normal. If it persists and gets bad, you need to let your doctor know.” At which point I BURST INTO TEARS for no apparent reason. Man, the hormones are a crazy thing.
I wouldn’t worry about the whole “missing your bonding” thing. Chances are your baby is mostly sleeping and not interacting too much right now anyways. I dunno…always felt the whole “you’ll miss out if you don’t immediately bond” thing was kinda a myth. Sometimes it takes months to truly bond with your baby, IMO! You get to know each other like any other relationship, I think.
Feel free to PM me if you need to talk….but I seriously think you should try just packing the baby up and getting out to do stuff!
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