Any divorced Catholics? Annulment Questions.

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  diannak 7 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #1950

    sister
    Member

    I was first married in the Catholic church at age 22. We divorced two years later. I believe I have strong grounds for an annulment, but I’m scared that I’d have to contact my ex, who is mentally unstable.

    My husband is also divorced. He is a baptized Catholic, but that is the only sacrament he has recieved. He married his first wife in a Protestant church.

    She committed adultery, so if he would need an annulment too, perhaps he has grounds? But again, it would be terrifying to have to contact her about this, because she would have a very adverse reaction.

    I would love nothing more than to have my marriage blessed by the church. I am very distressed that I can’t receive communion. Has anyone been through this process? It’s very important to me but I am scared to take the first step.

    #2673

    josie
    Member

    call your pastor and see if you can schedule sometime to talk to him. I don’t know the specifics but I do know that it is possible to go through annulment proceedings with only 1 spouse. If you want to email me, I can forward your email to my sister who has just recently started the annulment process – she probably could tell you more. She was married at about the same age as you and divorced after only a couple of years.

    Just let me know,
    Josie

    #2674

    jenng
    Member

    Hi there,

    I don’t know how much with will help — but I do have some insight regarding your husband’s situation. I too was baptised in the church and then was married in my early 20′s in a Protestant Church. Not long after we separated, I found my way back to the Catholic Church (Praise God!) and began to explore the annulement process. I did not want to begin dating after the divorce without my marriage being declared null. Mercifully, the process was simple and my marriage to my first husband was declared null on the basis of “lack of form”.

    Later that same year, I met my now husband and we dated for 5 years before becoming engaged.

    As the pp mentioned, you should certainly begin with speaking with your Parish Priest. He was the one who help me though the entire process.

    God Bless,
    JennG

    #2675

    stcatherine
    Member

    If your husband was married in a Protestant church without a special dispensation from the Catholic church then that marriage was always invalid. All baptised Catholics are obligated to marry in the Catholic church. Failure to do so is choosing to ex-communicate oneself from the Church.

    #2676

    loloengland
    Member

    hi ,I am about to start the annulment process.Ihave just got to fill out forms but am going to meet my parish priest first.
    Face your fear.. i have. It is scary, but like you i hate not being able to go to communion.
    If you like we could pm each other for support.
    Let me know.
    God bless
    Lorraine

    #2677

    loloengland
    Member

    Forgot to say.. try this website, it may answer some of your questions. http://www.oncecatholic.org

    #2678

    sandyaffer
    Member

    Annulment gives the same result as divorce. It’s just calling it a different name. The fact that you were once married in a union with another man still remains. Why stress about calling it something else?

    #2679

    lynnt
    Member

    @Sandyaffer wrote:

    Annulment gives the same result as divorce. It’s just calling it a different name. The fact that you were once married in a union with another man still remains. Why stress about calling it something else?

    I don’t think you are understanding what annulment means in the Church, you are confusing it with what is deemed a legal annulment (one you obtain thru the courts)

    Divorce within the Church is a sin, regardless of whether it occurred while you were a practicing member or not. Annulments–the Church granting that the marriage was not a valid, consecrated union–are required in order for the divorced person to take part in all the Sacraments. You cannot receive Eucharist, be a Confirmation or Baptism Sponsor, nor be remarried within the Church. I was not divorced, but my husband was and we are waiting for the annulment decision on his marriage comes back before I can proceed with finishing my re-indoctrination into the Church. IT is stressful. I want nothing more to be able to take the Eucharist again and be a full member again (I left the Church many years ago and came back a few years ago). As close as I feel to Christ, there is still that gap that I feel between Him and me that is a result of not being able to share in His body and blood.

    To the original poster–you file the paperwork and furnish whatever information you know about your ex. If you do not know where he is, they will try to find him and they are the ones that will contact him. You should never have to speak a word to him. My husband sees his ex often b/c they have children together, yet, we had no idea that the Church had sent her the annulment papers until months after the fact.

    Good luck, I will be praying for you!

    #2680

    diannak
    Member

    @Sister wrote:

    I was first married in the Catholic church at age 22. We divorced two years later. I believe I have strong grounds for an annulment, but I’m scared that I’d have to contact my ex, who is mentally unstable.

    My husband is also divorced. He is a baptized Catholic, but that is the only sacrament he has recieved. He married his first wife in a Protestant church.

    She committed adultery, so if he would need an annulment too, perhaps he has grounds? But again, it would be terrifying to have to contact her about this, because she would have a very adverse reaction.

    I would love nothing more than to have my marriage blessed by the church. I am very distressed that I can’t receive communion. Has anyone been through this process? It’s very important to me but I am scared to take the first step.

    New poster here, but first of all, God bless you. I JUST recieved my annulment from my first husband, and I am waiting to have my second marriage convalidated in the Church.

    An annulment can be a long and tedious process, but with many rewards. It forces you to take a long, hard look at yourself, and the relationship, to help identify what went wrong, and to help prevent the same problems in the future.

    I am going to assume that the process is the same in all dioceses. Here in Louisville, the process was like this …

    I “filed” for the annulment, and had a HUGE questionerre (sp) to fill out. It covered things like my family background, education, my husbands family and background, etc. It asks questions about the relationship, and about your personality, etc. Some of these questions were incredibly painful for me … this is not a form you can fill out in a day or two. It took me months to fill it out …. I just couldn’t bite it all off at once.

    You also have to have witnesses to be able to answer questions about you and the marriage. Please be advised … when asking your freinds and family, explain to them how important this is to you. I had 2 friends who told me they would be glad to help, then NEVER returned the form.

    You will NOT have to contact your ex …. this was a concern of mine, to a point. I was the onw who wanted the anullment, and I was very concerned that my ex would not co-operate. They will give him a chance to respond … like a time period of a few months, I think. They have the option to say 1)Ok, I will help, 2)No, I will not, or 3) I do not care, do not contact me again. (It’s worded better than that, but I’m at a loss for words right now!)

    From the time I turned in the form … July 2005, until the time I was granted my annulment Sept 2006 … little over a year. I feel like it would have moved a bit faster, had my own witnesses responded quickly.

    Call your local archdiocese. They should have a Marriage Tribunal contact person that would be able to help you. Call your priest as well … mine was wonderful through the whole process. You may occasionally find a few that are a bit misinformed about the process. If this happens, call the Tribunal. Best of luck to you … keep praying about it. It’s a gigantic load off of me to have this done …. you ARE doing the right thing, no matter what anyone else tells you.

    Dianna

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