any advice with this situation would really be appreciated

Welcome Catholic Moms! Forums General Topics any advice with this situation would really be appreciated

This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  tinaleethomas 9 years, 1 month ago.

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    😀 I am an American citizen who has been living in Belfast for the past almost 11 years. I want to come back!!!– although not to my home state of Texas–It is a complicated situation, but I have a nine-year old daughter. When she was small, the best place–ONLY place–for us was here, because of the benefit system and all the support that was available. Unfortunately, because of my fault, my daughter essentially has no father/family whatsoever on that side because I only knew him for a weekend. I tried to contact him and eventually got a phonecall from him and told him he had a daughter, and he said maybe he would try to meet up with us to meet her, and i never heard from him again. so she has never met her father and probably never will. I’m just explaining a little so you will see that we are on our own. I have no family except three half-brothers who I didn’t grow up with and am trying to get to know. They can’t offer help because one is disabled, one is an institutionalised prisoner, and the other is in california in a christian discipleship program dealing with his past of prostitution etc.
    In the time I have been here I have grown tremendouslydue to the right antidepressant finally being prescribed for me 9 years ago, and the fact that since I had my daughter I finally have family for the first time in my life.–grew up in orphanage, then relatives, and friends. I knew if I came back to the States with a baby we would be homeless and shse would probably be taken off me or something. So the best place while she was little was definitely here in Belfast. But for the past year it has become so difficult here for us. My seeking to be allowed to stay here as a legal resident is STILL not resolved after 10+ years. So I can’t work or live where I want –live in Asylum seeker accomodation–can’t get on with my life–make a real, normal life for us. I want a job, car, home with garden! trying not to be disatisfied with our life–very grateful for shelter, food, etc., but want to get on with things. I want to become a teacher so much. I have looked into it on the web, and it looks possible for me to do an alternative teacher certification program–chicago. I want it SO much and so does my daughter, but it is very scary. I would have to leave the best friend I’ve ever had for one thing. I want so much for God to make things really clear for me so I know what to do!!! It looks like chicago has some great catholic charities –housing, etc while we get on our feet. Any ideas? I’m scared of living in a bad area. I wouldn’t mind really but there is no point in putting my daughter out of the frying pan and into the fire. How much is rent near chicago?
    any thoughts/advice/ideas?? i probably look like a real loser but I want to get on with our lives now and i’m not sure what to do. prayers for guidance would be very much appreciated! 🙂



    Chicago is a little bit pricey because its such a major hub. You might want to try a smaller city in the midwest like Cleveland, Ohio. We live outside of cleveland and compared to where we used to live in the DC suburbs, its EXTREMELY cheap here. Some friends of ours just bought a nice house in a nice neighborhood for 110,000 dollars, to give you an idea. It wasn’t a huge brand new house, but like I said in good shape if a bit old in a good neighborhood with a good school system. And cleveland has lots of educational opportunities – the community colleges are great, and there is a private university in Berea (a suburb) called Baldwin Wallace College that has programs for moms seeking their degree. Other universities have similar programs, you just have to check around and do some emailing. There’s Kent state, Cleveland state, Akron U (wouldn’t live in downtown akron though), Case Western (very pricey but there’s lots of scholarships available), and the community college (cuyahoga community college) is exceptional as well and the credits transfer well to other schools.

    Also, your parish priest may be able to get into contact with parish priests wherever you’re looking to relocate to and they can organize some help for you while you get on your feet.

    I hope that helps a little. As far as your decision, just pray about it. Maybe a novena. EWTN has a great list of novenas:

    Good luck and God bless!


    I did the Clonard Novena–lovely experience. I’m so glad. I was concentrating on Chicago because of the alternative teacher certification program they have–I’ve checked out tons of places’ alternative cert. programs, but most of them you have to have had a certain minimum GPA at university. I just barely passed. Chicago is the only one I have found so far that will take any Bachelor’s degree no matter what your GPA. But I was on the point of having almost all my ducks lined up, and They said the program is no longer running at the moment!! I can still take classes toward certification, but I would have to line up enough student loans to let me do it full time, not working. So I am checking into student loans, but now I am coming across a possible fatal hitch that I hadn’t quite seen before–the obvious one: They ask my state of legal residence–????? I have no address in America any more. I put my half brother’s address. But they want to know my income stuff– I have been living on Asylum Seekers benefit in the UK!! So I put it under “other”!!!
    HMMMMMMM……………….. I am going to check out more states alternative cert. programs. not very hopeful. I would love more than anything to teach in a Catholic school, but at least in Illinois you have to be certified first. –not to mention the very low pay in the Catholic sectoe–but I will make it work–don’t care about the pay.
    But what can I do???
    Before, when I went to the US consulate in person with my documents, to check on the program they have for repatriating people in dire straits, they said it doesn’t apply to me because I’m not in immediate danger!!!
    I’m not giving up! I have finally got to the point in my life where I am getting more and more blessed and getting better and better at sharing my life with others, and I need to be able to serve. Teaching is somehow what I am meant for. (my granny I grew up with and her sister after shee died) were 1st and 2nd grade teachers and taught me to read and that has always been my thing!


    hi again! still here, still stuck. i have become more and more certain that i need to be a teacher. and chicago is where i’m headed. but aside from talking to my best friend about it more, and convincing her that i need to do this, i am waiting on my 16 year-old dog to die first. that sounds horrible, but i love him to pieces, and i couldn’t give him up to someone else at this stage in his life. it would kill him! so even though it sounds silly, it’s a waiting game on that front. anyway, i don’t know why i’m writing this, except that i would appreciate a wee prayer from anyone. it is just so hard and bad for me all this waiting. i am so stuck. it’s like i’m paralized. in one way or another most of my life has been sort of paralized–just waiting to be able to start living. i try to fully enjoy every moment, but i don’t actually DO anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! frustration!!!!!!! arghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just ranting! sorry!!!

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