Anger

This topic contains 12 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  jc 7 years, 4 months ago.

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  • #2119

    After my second child I was put on anti depressants. Well my husband was in the middle of jobs and we lost insurance. My medicine was around 100 a month. I decided that I had felt better as I had started taking less and less of it. I didn’t feel so groggy in the mornings and had more energy through the day. I really don’t want to be on that kind of medicine. I understand some people need it and it did really help me in the beginning. Now that I am off of it I am having a hard time with getting angry very easily. I have tried everything. Praying, giving it to Jesus. I don’t want to be an angry person. It isn’t like I’m angry all the time either. Usually it is something little that doesn’t go my way that makes me really angry. Something that I feel as if I can’t control. It is like I have nothing there to control how angry I get. Even if it is over something silly and petty. When I do get angry I seem to take it out on the first person around. I really want to give this a fair shot before I just give up and go back on medicines that make me not feel like myself. Also I want to have another baby and I don’t want to have to be on anti depressants while I do so. Just wondering what everyone does with their anger.

    #3467

    andrea
    Member

    I don’t really have a comment on this. I know what you mean about anti- depressants. Working as an RN it seemed like a lot of people were just put on them, to be put on them. Didn’t try counseling, or working through their problems. I don’t like drugs for remedies unless it’s really a need. I know there is a good arguement either way though. Your in my prayers and hold in there. Everyone gets angry – you just need to make sure you learn to control it. I get angry – more so when I’m pregnant. =( Sad, but true.

    #3468

    @andrea wrote:

    I don’t really have a comment on this. I know what you mean about anti- depressants. Working as an RN it seemed like a lot of people were just put on them, to be put on them. Didn’t try counseling, or working through their problems. I don’t like drugs for remedies unless it’s really a need. I know there is a good arguement either way though. Your in my prayers and hold in there. Everyone gets angry – you just need to make sure you learn to control it. I get angry – more so when I’m pregnant. =( Sad, but true.

    I agree after I had my second my ob put me on them after I said I think i might have ppd. Didnt ask me one question just wrote me the script. so sad. I think I got what I could out of them. It did lift the dark clouds to where I could function. Now I think I have found better ways of coping. Prayer really helps. I was never really taught what to do with my anger as a child. I grew up pretty much in an emotionless family. I think talking does work way better then actual medicine. I pray for everyone who’s going through depression it is so hard. You sometimes can’t see the light at the other end. I finally can see mine and I’m praying I get there soon! I have been working on walking away. For me if things aren’t perfect (and their usually not esp with two young ones) that tends to freak me out. Thanks for the prayers! :D

    #3469

    andrea
    Member

    I feel for you – really. Sometimes I can be a little judgemental about people jumping for medicine (something I really try to work on). PPD is really horrible for some, but I think your OB needs to get her head on straight just giving you the meds without questions. My family wasn’t big into medications for everything they hand out anymore- a long story! So I think that’s another reason I’m the way I am. I really struggle with finding a Dr. I want someone that is moral and I trust – lets just say I haven’t found that person yet. well I have but they won’t take more people. I had my son at home and completely trust the midwives *laugh* One being my mom! Anyway – I didn’t get PPD at all, but about the third day after I had my son, and for about a week I felt depressed and really in the dumps. I knew it would happen from what I have heard about the hormone fluctuations. My mom really helped me through it as well as my hubby. I think too (I could be totally wrong though) having two little ones and being home all the time can make you depressed sometimes anyway. I felt like that being home this winter, sick from being pregnant and NOTHING TO DO. I started doing more – getting active in things that I could do with my little guy. La Leche League (I’ve been in it for awhile though), Familia (a wonderful church group for woman of children), the library, and trying to get to know other mom’s that have similar values and beliefs. It’s helped to get together – I’m SO not a winter person and with my family being a little ways away I couldn’t always just go there when I wanted. Do you have things you are active in? I’m not trying to belittle what your going through – I know feeling like that is horrible – there is light and your in my prayers. Andrea (Sorry I kind of got side tracked here.)

    #3470

    @andrea wrote:

    I feel for you – really. Sometimes I can be a little judgemental about people jumping for medicine (something I really try to work on). PPD is really horrible for some, but I think your OB needs to get her head on straight just giving you the meds without questions. My family wasn’t big into medications for everything they hand out anymore- a long story! So I think that’s another reason I’m the way I am. I really struggle with finding a Dr. I want someone that is moral and I trust – lets just say I haven’t found that person yet. well I have but they won’t take more people. I had my son at home and completely trust the midwives *laugh* One being my mom! Anyway – I didn’t get PPD at all, but about the third day after I had my son, and for about a week I felt depressed and really in the dumps. I knew it would happen from what I have heard about the hormone fluctuations. My mom really helped me through it as well as my hubby. I think too (I could be totally wrong though) having two little ones and being home all the time can make you depressed sometimes anyway. I felt like that being home this winter, sick from being pregnant and NOTHING TO DO. I started doing more – getting active in things that I could do with my little guy. La Leche League (I’ve been in it for awhile though), Familia (a wonderful church group for woman of children), the library, and trying to get to know other mom’s that have similar values and beliefs. It’s helped to get together – I’m SO not a winter person and with my family being a little ways away I couldn’t always just go there when I wanted. Do you have things you are active in? I’m not trying to belittle what your going through – I know feeling like that is horrible – there is light and your in my prayers. Andrea (Sorry I kind of got side tracked here.)

    Well I have to attribute my ppd to being uneducated and being c sectioned for no reason. They gave me the good ole “baby is too big” I laugh at people when they tell me that. A womans body was meant to have baby’s. Only few are really truly to small to have a baby. My second child I got myself a midwife and I will never go back to an ob again. I had a success full vbac with my second. Way better! I attribute a lot to the c section. I know they are not only bad for the child in terms of complications and what not I think they are emotionally disturbing to the mother. Especially when she is the last to see her baby. The last to hold it. It is really hard. I will never let an ob touch me again. Midwifes have been delivering baby’s sine the beginning of time. I truly believe women should deliver baby’s not men. A man has no place telling a woman how to feel about her pregnancy or delivery because he cant even do that himself. That is just my opinion. I had a distant cousin just a few days ago deliver a 11lb boy in her bath tub at home via midwife. I am totally for home birth. I am considering trying it the third time around. I have also looked into birthing centers but we don’t have any nice ones around here. And what better then being able to sleep in your own bed after you have a baby? When we had our first we we’re very young and nobody really tells you much about ppd. When you have it you tend to feel ashamed of the way you feel. That is great you mom is such a big help! I wish my mom gave to cents about my feelings! I pray for her… :)

    #3471

    andrea
    Member

    I couldn’t agree with you more when it comes to babies. My mom’s last baby was eleven pounds. I laugh to myself when people tell me they couldn’t believe I delivered Landen (8 lb 12 oz). I got a baby making, momma delivering body! *laugh* I was very lucky to have my mom at my delivery – she’s delivered lots of babies and I’m looking very forward to having the next. However I was told later that the other midwife that was with my mom would have sent me in and I would have had a section. Unfortnately my little guys head was turned a bit and it took a lot of pushing to get him out. I didn’t notice, I was sleeping in between contractions but he was perfect once he came. I think lots of first time moms are not educated, you need to investigate EVERYTHING before you do it. I could honestly go into a huge long discussion when it comes to birthing. I’ve really tried to educate myself on both sides of the fence. I think being in the hospital and sections can be okay if it’s necessary. It’s not though and your tricked into thinking it is. I’d write more but landen just woke. He likes to be on the computer if I am. Andrea

    #3472

    @andrea wrote:

    I couldn’t agree with you more when it comes to babies. My mom’s last baby was eleven pounds. I laugh to myself when people tell me they couldn’t believe I delivered Landen (8 lb 12 oz). I got a baby making, momma delivering body! *laugh* I was very lucky to have my mom at my delivery – she’s delivered lots of babies and I’m looking very forward to having the next. However I was told later that the other midwife that was with my mom would have sent me in and I would have had a section. Unfortnately my little guys head was turned a bit and it took a lot of pushing to get him out. I didn’t notice, I was sleeping in between contractions but he was perfect once he came. I think lots of first time moms are not educated, you need to investigate EVERYTHING before you do it. I could honestly go into a huge long discussion when it comes to birthing. I’ve really tried to educate myself on both sides of the fence. I think being in the hospital and sections can be okay if it’s necessary. It’s not though and your tricked into thinking it is. I’d write more but landen just woke. He likes to be on the computer if I am. Andrea

    Yea Blaize was 8lbs 8oz and to them that was just too big (rolling my eyes) plus a c section is way more easier for a dr. They can schedule it and they are in and out no waiting for a woman to labor. Also no middle of the night phone calls. Another one is if you go over 12 hours oh no you are in trouble and so is your baby. So not true. There is no set time for a labor and delivery. The c section rate is just way too high. People don’t hear or read about all the bad things that happen to mothers and babies during a c section. I agree unless it is totally necessary there is no reason. For some yes it saves the life of their child but 50% is not close to the needed c section rate. Babies have more breathing problems, babies are cut with scaples, mothers who have to have the uterus removed due to the section problems with your piping later on. There are just so many negatives to having a c section. Not to mention mentally. I will have to look but I read an article the other day that linked mental problems in grown adults to being sectioned as a baby. :roll:

    #3473

    lynnt
    Member

    I have been through counseling for severe depression and fought going on meds for years. The best thing I ever did for myself was to try it. I have had to have my prescription changed, but I am now on meds (wellbutrin, low dose) that help. I have a family history of severe depression and bipolar, so I was already predisposed to it.

    I had severe PPD after my daughter’s birth. I was on prozac during my pregnancy with my son, and I did not experience PPD after his birth.

    The meds help keep my irritability in check, as does daily prayer and getting enough sleep. I find if I don’t get enough sleep and/or I don’t start my day off with prayer, it doesn’t matter if I have taken my m eds or not, I am a little more touchy. So I need to have a combination of them.

    I have tried to wean off the meds, but it does not work (for me, I’m sure other women are different). I have come to accept that I need them to function, just as a diabetic needs insulin. It’s not something to be ashamed of and if you need them, genuinely need them, don’t not take them because of any preconceptions you have about people on meds.

    Pregnancy would make anyone more irritable, with all those hormones! If meds aren’t a viable option for you, and they might not help if your hormonal anyway, try praying always (even just short and simple prayers giving it up to the Lord), exercise (what a great way to get out aggression), or try to find the thing that brings you most peace. I like reading or crocheting…they relax me and it helps. It also helps to put yourself in time out when you feel a blow up coming on. I lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes if I have to.

    Good luck. I know how hard it is to deal with!

    #3474

    andrea
    Member

    I’m sorry to hear of your depression Lynn. I really can’t imagine how it would be because I’ve never had to go through it, severly. I agree with the sleep – I’m a person who requires a lot of sleep. I can’t function without a lot of it – and you don’t want to be around me either.

    mom2blaizeandzaine.
    When you used your midwife, did you have a homebirth, hospital, or birthing center? I agree with you and why c sections are the way they are. Plus everyone wanting to have a lawsuit drawn up – Doctors can’t even afford their malpractice insurance. I’ve heard of that in many different cases. I try to educate people about birthing, but it seems like too many people think that just because someone tells them so, that’s the way it is. I’m looked at as a crazy person putting my child in danger. I’m glad you were able to have a vbac and you will probably be able to have many more. I just thank God I’m a healthy person, and I’m able to delivery naturally without complications. So far! I’ve been very lucky to not have medical issues. I try to take care of myself, but sometimes that doesn’t always make a difference. I’m going to be doing a water birth with my next baby – I’m anxious for it. I wanted to do it with the first, but didn’t want to get in the pool once it was time. I was afraid he’d suck back inside me – warped brain from pushing! *laugh* Andrea

    #3475

    burrisfam1
    Member

    Something in this post really struck a nerve in me and I thought I would just move on but I can’t. I feel a little fired up so I’m saying a calming prayer and I’m just going to tell my story!

    I had ppd after my first child. I DID NOT talk to my doctor about it. I talked to my husband, mother and sister and prayed continuously for the feelings I had to be taken away. I went to counseling. I was told that I was just ‘going through a rough patch’ and that ‘change is hard’. I went from working 40+ hours at a VERY BUSY, VERY FAST paced work environment to staying home with a cranky little boy! In the year prior to this I had gotten married, moved an hour away from my family, and suffered a miscarriage. I had always wanted one thing…….a family and now I had one and all I could think about was getting in my car and driving FAR, FAR away! For 14 months I lived under a cloud. I was afraid to tell anyone ( in the beginning even the counselor) just how I felt because I was scared that they were going to come take my son and at the same time wondering if maybe they shouldn’t come and take him because I was just not good enough of a mom. And so it went round and round and then one day, the cloud was gone. I actually felt JOY! I felt the tickle a mom feels – you know the one where they smile at you and all the rest of the world MELTS away. I couldn’t believe how great it was and then I started to wonder……is this jsut how it works?? Then #2 come along and I was SCARED to death to go back to that place. But after she was born, I waited for the cloud to show up but it never did! :lol: I was so elated! The feelings of joy that I had to wait 14 months for with my son came with my daughters arrival! Then 6 months later I got pregnant with #3 and after her birth all the feelings that I had with #1 came back only worse.

    Let me tell you that I was raised never going to the doctor. I didn’t take a tylenol until I was 18 years old. We would visit a naturpathic doctor on occasion but no vaccines, no prescriptions, no OTC meds, just herbs, hydrotherapy and eating healthy. So I’m not a pill popper. I have a different perspective than my mom and we live a differnt lifestyle but medication is never my first choice. So when faced with these feelings I started researching antidepressants on line, asking around and by the time I made it to my 6 week check up, I talked to my doctor about it. We ran some blood work to check thyroid & other levels, I waited another week and then we made the determination that zoloft was the way to go. I picked up the prescription and then waited 3 more days before taking it. 10 days later, the cloud was gone.

    I’m a BUCK UP AND GET OVER IT kind of person. You know, NO BLOOD NO BOTHER. So admitting I had a problem that no one could see or touch or EXACTLY diagnose was a HUGE problem for me. But I truly feel that I am a better mom, better wife and better person all around because I had the courage to get help, even in the form of a pill. I thank God for zoloft, and for the courage it took for me to take it.

    I will now step off my soap box! Besides, dd #1 is trying to hug ds and ds is screaming like she just squirted him with acid and dd#2 just woke up and is ready to eat! Sorry the post is so long. :wink:

    #3476

    andrea
    Member

    April,
    I’m glad you you shared your experience. I need to read things like that from people that don’t want to just take something because the Doctor tells them too, but do the research and soul searching for themselves. Some people really do need the meds. I’m glad you had the courage to do what you needed – everyone’s situation is different. I hope you aren’t offended by our posts – I wish you the best and thanks for sharing. Andrea

    #3477

    natmur
    Member

    I had ppd when my dd was about 9 months. My ND had me take a natural supplement called 5-HTP which has shown in clinic trials/studies to be just as effective as anti-depressants, but without side effects AND it is a ton cheaper.
    http://www.vanderbilt.edu/AnS/psychology/health_psychology/5htp_myth.htm

    That anger sure is a sign of depression. Depression is a medical condition, and trying to deal with it as a moral weakness or spiritual failing is not something I recommend!

    #3478

    jc
    Member

    @mom2blaizenzaine wrote:

    After my second child I was put on anti depressants. Well my husband was in the middle of jobs and we lost insurance. My medicine was around 100 a month. I decided that I had felt better as I had started taking less and less of it. I didn’t feel so groggy in the mornings and had more energy through the day. I really don’t want to be on that kind of medicine. I understand some people need it and it did really help me in the beginning. Now that I am off of it I am having a hard time with getting angry very easily. I have tried everything. Praying, giving it to Jesus. I don’t want to be an angry person. It isn’t like I’m angry all the time either. Usually it is something little that doesn’t go my way that makes me really angry. Something that I feel as if I can’t control. It is like I have nothing there to control how angry I get. Even if it is over something silly and petty. When I do get angry I seem to take it out on the first person around. I really want to give this a fair shot before I just give up and go back on medicines that make me not feel like myself. Also I want to have another baby and I don’t want to have to be on anti depressants while I do so. Just wondering what everyone does with their anger.

    I know that you posted this a few months ago already, but I wanted to respond anyhow. A few years back I went through a very trying family time, and my family doc (who I trust immensely) put me on antidepressants (which, in hindsight, I think was a HUGE mistake, but nevertheless, I digress). After the trial passed, I asked the same doc to take me off the meds, and he told me how to wean slowly. I did EXACTLY what he said, but it did NOT work. I got the “zaps” (you feel like you have electric shocks running through your body), and I got very, VERY irritable. It was awful! I tried several times to go off the meds, and the same thing happened each time. Finally, this past March, I decided to go cold turkey (which I hear is not recommended, but I did not want to be on the meds anymore, and I wanted to get pregnant, and it’s uncertain what effects this med. has on unborn babies). With the help of Benadryl (which I would take at night to help with the zaps, as recommended by a website I found), I was able to go cold turkey, and I had no real zaps, nor much, if any, irritability. Thank the Lord!! I am so thankful to finally be off this medication, and honestly, I get very angry that the medical world seems to hide this very BIG problem of SERIOUS withdrawal from these types of meds. I hope that you are having a better time of it now.

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