June 6, 2007 at 4:29 pm #2161
I could really use some good Catholic based advice. I have been a stay at home for most of my marriage. My family recently fell on hard times when my husband lost his job of 13 years. He was out of work for 3 months before finding another job. His new job was half the pay of his old one. We got so far behind in our bills that two weeks ago we were forced to leave our home of eight years and move in with my parents. We have four kids ages 5-16. I have been looking for work in hopes that we wouldn’t have to move from home. I did have three interviews this week which sound promising. I am scared and nervous about going back to work. I want to stay home with the kids so badly. In the Fall they will all be in school. I really want to have more children as well. My husband said that once he finds a better job I can quit and be a full time mom again. I am so torn. I have a very close friend who is also catholic and who thinks I am making a big mistake. While I work during the summer my 16 year old will watch my younger ones until my parents get home, usually around 2pm. She thinks that is horrible that I am going to let my daughter watch my kids all summer. She is being very critical and says that when I go to work it will change who I am. She said she feels we won’t have anything in common anymore and that we probally won’t be friends. We have been friends over 20 years. I have always been one to think that moms should stay home with their kids unless they HAVE to work. This seems to be one of those situations where I have to work. My friend has told me I don’t have enough faith and I am not relying on God. I do trust God in all decisions I make. I feel He is guiding me. I have put much prayer into this. There is one job in particular that I feel would be great for me. My friend is making me feel so guilty about it all though. She says I will probally get used to the money and never be able to quit. HELP!! I need some advice.
NoahsmomJune 7, 2007 at 2:24 pm #3639
Another idea is to try to find a job where you work from home. Do you have any degrees? There are many jobs where you can work from home most of the time, especially if you have a degree. Otherwise, you can try alpineaccess.com or something along those lines.
I don’t know how much it has to do with faith as it does necessity. Be faithful by praying to God that you make the right decisions, not focusing on asking Him to help you with finances.
I say get some space between you and your friend while you’re going through this tough time. You need room to breathe and think. I’m sure she means well but just take a break from her for a couple of weeks while you’re working it all out. She’ll come around. And if she doesn’t then she’s not mature enough to handle it and that’s her issue.
Good luck, I know it’s not only a financial burden but a moral struggle as well.
HeatherJune 7, 2007 at 5:59 pm #3640
Thanks for the advice Heather. It is a very tough situation to be in. I have been praying constantly that I make the right decision. I didn’t want to work 40 hours, but all the interviews I get are for just that. Part time would work out better. I don’t know much about working from home and I am not sure that I could make enough money that way. Also, how would I know if something was legit and not a scam?June 7, 2007 at 9:00 pm #3641
There are MANY out there that are flat-out scams, or pyramid/multi-level (where you don’t make much money and you have a high initial investment). I would stay away from anything where they asked for money up front. They should be paying YOU, not the other way around. I just looked at http://www.monster.com and found a couple of jobs for online college instructors or online elementary tutors. I know there are several companies out there that do this. You can try Yahoo jobs as well. I give piano lessons from my home and the going rate around here is $25-$30 per hour for a lesson so I make pretty good money. Just takes a little planning and a recital once a year! I have to turn people away every week because I don’t want to work full-time. I like to keep 8-10 students since I have a 4 and a 1 year old to take care of, and DH will be 5 this month and we are homeschooling as well. Grandma or daddy usually plays with the kids in the other room while I teach. It’s very rewarding and a break from laundry, dishes, diapers, etc
Good luck! If I find out anything else, I’ll let you know!
HeatherJune 8, 2007 at 8:14 pm #3642
IMHO, you are doing nothing wrong by going back to work with your youngest being 5. And I am a person who is downright obsessed about moms staying at home when they have babies. I worked when my son was 5, and he loved the extended program at Catholic school so much, I could barely get him out every day. I hope you find some peace about this and a job you like!!June 19, 2007 at 4:29 pm #3643
I think you are correct, financially you need to be working right now. It’s not forever, it’s for now. Your kids are old enough to understand, and I’m sure you and DH have been talking with them about all the changes going on. This can be a learning time for them, and character-building for all of you.
Keep praying, keep listening. I think you are headed in the right direction. The impresion that I got from reading your post is that your friend doesn’t want to lose her daytime “pal”.
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