October 5, 2006 at 3:00 am #2027
Okay, I know it’s just a faze (howeveryouspellthatword). So far, I’ve been giving my son, baby time outs. He doesn’t get much out them them, so it seems. I am very consisten and after about 5 little time outs (me hugging him, his back to my abs and my arms wrapped all around him so he can’t move) I give him something new to do.
Just wondering what other moms do about this. The beginnings of discipline….?
The other thing is, I have been getting frustrated every now and then. Not really at my son, but sometimes I am annoying with him just because he wears me out.
I always feel bad afterwards.
What do you do when your child(ren) are driving you nuts?
I can’t really just leave him somehwere and take my own time out, he’s too young for that…any other ideas?October 5, 2006 at 4:38 pm #3114
We’re going through the beginnings of the “time out” age, also!
Our daughter is a little bit older (17 months), so she understands a little bit more.
We have been using a separate area…on the floor of the living room….where she has to sit for a time out.
We have had some hitting and biting of siblings, and THAT gets a time out. Also, flip-out type tantrums will get a time out.
We don’t make her sit there for more than a quick minute (she’s too young for that), but she gets the idea that the behaviour was not acceptable, and that’s the goal.
We haven’t had any biting in about a week and a half now, but we’ve still had some tantrums. (Pretty normal, I think.) DD is the second youngest we’ve ever had to give time outs to (DS was the youngest at about 11 months.) BTW….all the kids (oldest seven now) have turned out just fine and are in NO WAY discipline problems. Teachers and strangers always comment on how well behaved they are. We think it’s because we nipped bad behaviour in the bud when they were very young.
OH…BTW be prepared for criticism from in-laws and friends who DON’T agree with your methods (we did!) My in-laws were always nagging us about being too strict with our kids when they were too young. Now that a few of them are grown (and NOT bratty like many of their older cousins)….people are seeing that we did things the right way! (We have never spanked, BTW, just done time outs, taking away privileges, etc.)
Good luck! PM me and let me know how it goes!October 9, 2006 at 12:13 am #3115
We started the “time-out” thing w/our 1st DD at around 16/17 months. We use the corner. I was a little scared I started too young but actually b/c we started young, her response to it has been fantastic. She’s 26 mo. now and when she’s misbehaving, we tell her to go to the corner, of course she starts crying, we make her go anyway and we tell her to stay there until she stops. We then let her come out and if she starts crying again, we simply put her back in the corner. There are times, we’ve had to spank her, then put her in the corner but it’s what has worked for us.
It’s actually funny b/c now w/our 6 mo. old, my DH seems to have forgotten what an infant is as he tends to be stern w/her when she starts crying a lot. I’ve actually had to remind him that’s her only way of telling us she’s hungry, etc. If any child will be scarred from starting discipline too soon, it may be our 6 mo. old!
Michelle is right about relatives’ criticism… even my sister tried to stop me from disciplining our DD at McDonalds. Needless to say, I had to stop my sister from trying to give my DD a toy to quiet her until we got outside! (Yes, it did irritate me!) However, I promise, the sooner and more consistent, the better the outcome!October 9, 2006 at 5:22 pm #3116
I have 2 chidren. Age 2 and 3 1/2. We have always used timeouts. Once they are able to understand NO, then you need to mean NO. Don’t say no and give in anyway. My daughter bit my son the other day, even though he provoked it (he’s the older) they both sat down.
I consistently…as much as I can with working 40 hours, discipline my children. I have swatted the eldests bottom. But I try very hard not too. I really don’t think it’s what works for us. So we use timeouts. I take toys away. I don’t let them have dessert if they don’t finish/or at least eat some (pending on what it is) of their dinner.
My mother thinks I’m strict. She hasn’t said that. But I have on several occasions said “this is my child and he isn’t going to behave that way”. Even at a huge family gathering. She just looked at me.October 10, 2006 at 3:37 am #3117
Well, I definitely try to be consistent. Although…today I moved the plants outside (if they do well outside, I will leave them, if not, I will move them back in)…but I got so fed up, he kept going over to them, and eating the soil and I gave him soo many time outs today…finally, I moved the plants.
Another thing I have noticed is that I raise my voice considerably when I tell him NO or I speak his name trying to get his attention.
I do not want to become a yelling mother. I think both my parets raised their voices a lot at us kids.
Is there another way, (other than raising the tone of my voice to say my child’s name or say NO or whatever) to make known to my child that I am very serious?
I’m sure there has to be, but I just am not used to this calmer way of parenting, since I didn’t grow up with it, but I would really like to chance that with my own children.October 10, 2006 at 12:13 pm #3118
As was suggested in another thread.. Dr Ray’s book gives suggestions.
As does the Popcaks book. Parenting with Grace.
Say no and Change the look on your face, use facial expressions with him.
At his age (just noticed the thread title..10 months) you need to tell him no and move him into a “safer” area. But your plants higher, if possible.
there are some things I don’t mind my little ones getting into. I have a specific cabinet with plastic tubberware and metal pans / bowls. They are free to play with those. I don’t mind. My glass cookware is put up high where they can’t reach. As are the knives.
My movie cabinet has a hair tie (or a lock) around the knobs and they couldn’t get into it (they figured it out, but they are much bigger now)
Anything that I don’t want them to get into (like under the kitchen sink where I keep the cleaning material) is locked with a baby lock.
I didn’t “babyproof” my entire home. Because they will eventually learn not to get into it. But some of the things I did.October 10, 2006 at 6:05 pm #3119
Reading Amby’s post about how her cabinets are set up reminded me of something that made me laugh!
We have the “cabinet of supervised play!”
DH even has a funny little song about what’s in it…..”games with small pieces….paints and clay…..glitter and glue…in the cabinet of supervised play!!” Cracks me up to think of DH singing it in an off-key funny voice! Yeah…sometimes you just have to move the stuff out of reach. Can’t be helped.
When we are having a “stern talking-to” with a youngster, we also make sure to get down and eye-to-eye with them. Eye contact is everything. With our older kids, just a warning look for improper bahaviour will work in public. I agree about facial expression being very important, as well.
Good luck!December 23, 2006 at 4:41 am #3120
Thanks for all the replies.
I guess the time-outs worked because he is now 12 months and stopped the hitting thing before he turned 11 months.
Now, he is getting into more things, but he KNOWS what I am talking about when I say NO. He is very smart. I am very consistent and I still give him the time-outs and they work.
I also bought a play pen, it’s so nice, looks like a “cage”…but I’m from Europe, and we grew up in those, and I’m not psychologically damaged =) It’s probably 5×5 ft. square and has wooden bars, like a crib, so he can walk around the sides of it and when I need a 5 min. breather, I can set him in there while he plays and I regain my sanity.
It’s not that bad though, we do okay.
My husband and I are now doing some Catholic Bible studies together, one about marriage, one geared towards fathers about raising children, one geared towards mothers about raising children, so that is nice. He picked out these books and the next one I want to read after these is the Ray Guarendi one on Discipline.
I think I’m doing okay on discipline though, consistency is the key.
He’s only 1 though…so I’ll update you when he’s 3! =)
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