herein lies the problem of us trying to plan our lives out line by line…God has an idea of what he wants for us. we have to put our faith in Him when it comes to finances, jobs, kids, marriage, etc… His timeline is different than ours. Maybe his plan is for you to pass the tests, find a great job, enjoy your husband and marriage, and spend your time helping children at your church, and never have any more children. Maybe His plan is for you to be pregnant right away and trust in Him and ask for wisdom in making your financial decisions. We really have no idea so always have to pray each month if we should be practicing NFP or TTA or TTC. Remember, your life will be completely different in 5, 10, 20 years. You may live in a different town, state, or country. I know it’s hard to think that because we always want to think we have our whole lives planned out and under control. This is why you are panicking, you are realizing how much is out of your control! It is really hard when you are a planner like me, believe me, I understand. The only thing that helped me to realize the God’s plan is always better than our own is the book:
The Good News about Sex and Marriage by Christopher West.
I wasn’t even Catholic when I read the book but something prompted me to ask more questions about NFP, marital intimacy, and raising children. my DH grew up Catholic and since reading this book I have decided to convert. I have been attending Mass for 12 years but never until reading this book did I really get what Catholicism and God’s will was all about.
I hope you find the peace in Jesus that you are looking for. I hope you are able to get this book and read it with your spouse. Try not to worry too much about what the “next” step is…just pray that God will give you the patience and wisdom to deal with whatever may come.