If you would have asked this question before I became a mother, I would have said MUCH younger than I would now! It of course depends on the maturity level of the girl, her moral convictions, and oddly enough her relationship with her father. A young girl who’s father is either not around or distant (emotionally) sends up a warning flag in my mind…this coming from a woman who had a father who was VERY distant emotionally and have done a bit of research into the long term effects of it.
Boys engage in sexual behavior usually for different reasons (not just hormones either). The number one reason (no big surprise here) girls become sexual is to feel loved and to fill a void. If a girl has never been told how special she is, that she is beautiful, she is a treasure…or things of this nature, has been hugged and paid attention to BY A FATHER FIGURE, the chances of her becoming sexually active at a young age are MUCH higher. Even if your daughter is a “Tom Boy” or doesnt even seem that interested in boys, the void is still there.
Group dating always seems to be the safe alternative. Parents think that if their child goes to the mall or movies with a group of friends then “what could happen”…everything that could still happen if it was a one on one date only now they have look-outs.
Truly knowing your child, spending ALOT of personal time with them, raising them in the church, teaching them about the importance of abstaining at an early age, knowing their friends, talking to the parents and telling the parents YOUR rules are so important. Hopefully doing these things will make it easier for us to know when our children are ready…God I hope so!!!
A video/DVD that I HIGHLY recommend that is very Catholic and full of truth and teaches it on a level your kids will understand is “Romance Without Regret”. Here is the info on it and other supportive material all Catholic based…YAY!
At the below website you can listen to “Romance Without Regret” before you order it and SO MUCH other cool stuff for your teen or pre-teen.
“When you decide firmly to lead a clean life, chastity will not be a burden on you: it will be a crown of triumph. ” St. Josemaria Escriva