I know there are alot of controversies over snacks/toys in church but here is what works for us. We have a 4yrDS, 2yrDD and almost 1yrDD. I nurse my babies during mass in the pew. I am discrete and we sit in the back but I find getting up and leaving more disruptive. We don’t do toys once they are ~1. We do bring snacks and drinks. We have good weeks and bad weeks. We have on occasion removed them and spanked them but only for serious problems. I had a mom advise me once that if they have to be brought out of mass to the foyer or cry room to be punished that you should always hold them and not let them down to explore because then they are just being rewarded for bad behavior. So we walk out until they calm down, correct the behavior and go back in. We find going to the right mass time helps as well. Evenings or during a meal time doesn’t work for our group. Also pre-warning the 4yr old what is expected and what he’ll lose if he is bad works wonders. Another mom advised sitting up close so they can see what is happening, like in first couple rows. i’m not brave enough fo rthat and don’t want to nurse on display!
We have a kind pastor who always comments on moms with small kids and how hard a job it is and how great it is to see & hear them in church. So that helps because you don’t feel unwanted!
Hope this helps! Oh yeah……and pray. I once asked my mom, why bother? I hear NOTHING, I get in a response or two and go to communion. And she said because the grace you recieve from communion and the sacrifice you are making in trying to raise your children in the church is what God sees. So keep going, and keep bringing your babies. I’ll keep you in my prayers!