Hello! Please don’t think you’re foolish for trying to love someone in the best way that you know how!! Unfortunately, we probably all struggle with this to some degree… I have to constantly tell myself: it’s not how I act, it’s how I RE-act. I have tried and tried to change how I act, but, like you said- no matter what you do, somehow it’s not right. Instead, I’ve tried (and I still struggle!) to step back whenever I’m in the presence of my family and recognize that the comments they make are usually based on their own feelings of inadequacy, and that they do not have to affect me (water off of a duck’s back!). I’m so blessed to have a loving husband and an awesome God that I can turn to when I am frustrated or feeling attacked. I have also resorted to not telling my parents much; their opinions are often hurtful and I can do without them! I’ve also tried to separate feelings from facts (which, with family, is SO hard!). If my mom says something hurtful, I try to let it slip off… however, if I do need to respond to her in some way, I try to pray about it first and then respond very factually. The closer I have gotten to Christ and His Church, the more confidence I feel when defending my faith and my actions. I have to constantly remind myself that I am accountable to Christ alone, and to Him I will answer. This frees me up to love my parents even more and let go of my wishful expectations of them. I will be praying for you!