Thanks for the advice.
It wasn’t really the “not attending” part that bothered DD……it was the “not being invited.” DD’s best friend (who was invited) chose not to go. Told the girl she had other plans.
It really wasn’t a “not enough space” issue….it’s a very small class; so,
yes – I’m positive that every other girl was invited. I’m friendly with all of the Moms, too – so I know this to be the case.
I decided that my calling the mother was not the best approach. DD is in 3rd grade and is a very eloquent child. We talked about the issue, and decided that she would nicely ask the girl (after party weekend was done) if there was any problem between them, because she’d like to work it out. When the girl said, “No,” DD said, “Because I was wondering why I was the only one not invited to your party.” DD even let the girl off gracefully. (I was SO proud!!!!) She said, “I figured it was because you probably had my old address and the invitation got mis-sent.”
The girl said that she wondered why DD didn’t come (I still have my doubts as to whether or not the invite was actually sent.) I feel better because DD feels better about at least letting the girl know that she had felt hurt and that – if it was intentional – it wasn’t nice.
I’m sure that someone would have called to see why we didn’t RSVP if one was actually sent. Don’t most people call the non-responders? I’m pretty sure they either totally forgot her or there was an intentional reason behind it that I don’t know. I’m sure it’s some third grade drama that Moms aren’t in on! But….I really don’t care for one simple reason:
Seeing my DD handle the situation so gracefully by herself was one of my proudest parenting moments!! She learned so much from this.
I’m really not concerned about any possibility that DD is the class outcast or anything! I’ve stood back and watched her interracting with the other girls, and they all get along great. As a matter of fact, a bunch of them are getting together this weekend.
Of course, we also used it as a lesson about how God wants us to treat other people as we’d like to be treated. I doubt if DD would ever consider exclusing someone to be mean.
So…in summary….I’m happy to report that all’s well that ends well.