We’ve been married for 10 years and I didn’t know ANYTHING about how men function when I got married. I was either always hinting around about things I needed him to do, or getting mad at him for not noticing things I needed help with. One day he just said, “Make me a list, and when I have a few moments, I’ll pull out the list and work on the stuff.” He works really hard all week (60+ hours per week at a labor intensive job) so I try to do ALL the stuff inside the house and homeschool my 4 year old and take care of our 1 year old. But, he does most of the OUTSIDE work (lawn care, cleaning the garage, picking up dog poo). He does all the repairs and stuff inside…IF I put it on the list!!! We get along great just taking care of each of our responsibilities. And when one of us is sick, the other pitches in.
I think we as women don’t realize that men are usually glad to do things for us as long as we’re not nagging at them, or expecting them to do it the second we ask. It has worked a whole lot better for us when I just leave a list. Sometimes it may take him a month to finish the list, but that’s okay…it got done!
Ask him how/when he would like you to ask him to help. Communication is the key. Oh, and I always thank DH for anything he does. In turn, he has been much more appreciative of me.
Our marriage is SO much better than it was before.