No, you’re right. He can’t just sit there and have you slave around him all day. If he can’t understand to take more responsibility in words, than maybe he’ll understand in actions.
For example, don’t iron his shirts one day. Or don’t fold his laundry, just let it sit there. Or make dinner just for yourself. Seriously, maybe this sounds silly to you, but that’s what I would do. He needs to see for himself how much you do and that he’s equally part of the family just as you are. Everyone has to contribute. You are not his personal maid.
Some men just need to understand things the hard way. I don’t know how old your kids are, but do they have responsibilities? If they do, then that’s a good thing because everyone needs to have some sort of responsibility.
In my house, my husband folds his own laundry once I wash it. His mom also folded his laundery when he lived at home, but he knows I won’t do it so it’s either he does it himself or it will sit there unfolded. He figured he just better fold it and that’s that. He also washes dishes a few times a week, takes out the garbage when he leaves for work, I send him grocery shopping on his way home from work; he also dusts. Dusting is his responsibility and that’s that. We just created these rules and we follow them.