I know exactly what you are going through. The 5 times I miscarried either a friend or one of my sisters was pregnant and carried the babies to term. The duration of their pregnancies was very difficult for me as well as the birth of their children. I kept asking Why not me? I just continued to pray for strength. I even forced myself to bring my nieces to the hospital after my sister delivered. I really did not want my sadness to overshadow their joy. I also didn’t want them to tiptoe around me and feel they couldn’t talk openly to me, that would have hurt even more. I guess my advice to you is to let out your sadness. Give yourself the time you need to grieve and then move on. Make room for the joys in your life and accept the joys of others! It’s not an easy task but it’s not impossible! pray to your angels in heaven, ask them to pray for you so that you gain the strength you need.
I’ll keep you in my prayers!