Reply To: Heavy heart, need prayers

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Hi NHmomof5

Congratulations on your new baby. I pray that you will have a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery.

I have a friend who is also 42 and expecting her 5th. So you certainly aren’t the only one out there.

As for your daughter. Have you asked her how she feels being in a house where her parents are being belittled, insulted and their decisions maligned? I was in a similar position when I was 12. I was visiting my grandmother and her husband, who are not Catholic, and they started making what they thought were innocent jokes about Catholicism and priests and nuns etc. I was VERY uncomfortable because I didn’t agree with what they were saying, but I was too young to know how to articulate my thoughts and feelings about the matter. My parents had always told me that if I was ever in a place that I want to leave, all I had to do was call them and they would come and get me, no matter what time or where it was, with no questions asked. None of us expected that it would be my grandmothers house that I wanted to leave.

My grandmother and her husband didn’t understand and were quite hurt, but that is beside the point. The point is that MY PARENTS defended ME, not them, ME. Their daughter. They took my side, with no questions, because their primary responsibility was to ME. And believe me, this has caused problems in the family and only in the last few years has it started to be forgotten.

Your daughter shouldn’t be expected to defend your actions, nor should she be put in that position. Your parents are behaving inappropriately, and I would bring my daughter home if I were you. She may have told you the things they said hoping that you would bring her home. You should absolutely listen to your instincts and bring her home. And instead of being hurt that your parents aren’t more supportive of you, I would get angry and protective that someone, anyone, is being inappropriate with MY CHILD.

When my parents came to take my home, it built an unbreakable chain of trust between us. I can’t tell you how important it was to me, as a child, to know that my parents would fight for me, and protect me. And I knew that this would make things really difficult for my mother. I knew that she and my grandmother didn’t have the best of relationships. I knew that by doing this thing for me, she would get angry phone calls from my grandmother, her husband, my aunts. And that if gramma weren’t yelling on the phone at my mother, she would be crying at my mother about how mean I was. But that’s the thing. My parents stood up and stood between me and all of that, because I was too young, and shouldn’t have been put in that situation in the first place.

Good Luck, you have my prayers.