Honoring your parents doesn’t mean that you have to do everything your parents want. It doesn’t mean allowing them to verbally abuse you. It doesn’t mean that they can pick you apart and you just have to sit there and smile.
Respectable parents don’t treat their children, grown or not, like that. They don’t berate a child’s choices just because they disagree. A loving, stable parent will embrace his/her child no matter what.
I’ve learned with my mother that the best way to “honor” her is to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes. In other words, my mother taught me what I *won’t* do to my children. I keep her at arm’s distance so that she can’t hurt me anymore. And, like many of you, I tried talking to my mother as did my husband. She’s most likely going to her grave as a very dysfunctional woman. I’ve done my part…the rest is up to her.
Lastly, I don’t think that it’s wrong for someone to cut their parents off because of the parents lack of respect for the child’s decisions. If the parents’ behavior is THAT bad, no one should be a martyr. And, I’m SURE that God understands.