I usually just mention the kids that I have at home. If the conversation allows it, I will mention the ones that I lost.
I’ve seen at times when I try to mention something about my infertility or my losses that the person I’m chatting with will just “check out”. It’s like they just don’t care. So, instead of putting myself in that position, I won’t mention my precious losses unless I know I’m speaking with someone who truly cares or could be impacted by my experience.
I’ve heard many mothers handle it many different ways. There are some parents that will include all their children in the number and if a person asks further, they will say that they have “x” amount at home and “y” amount that were losses. I personally don’t handle it that way because I’ve had so many losses that it would be a nightmare for me when more questions were asked.
Lastly, I’m very sorry to hear that you’ve had to experience the loss of a child. Please know my prayers are with you.