We pretty much do the same thing that Michelle does. We kept our 1st in the room w/us – even in the bed for most of the night when she was nursing a lot. Then when she got to where she slept about 4 hours, we put her to bed in her own room, in her own crib without any detachment problems. When she woke up after the 4 hours to feed, I did usually keep her in my room from then on because I, myself, was too tired to get back up when I was done nursing. However, once she started sleeping through the night, there wasn’t a problem. I think it only took 2 nights of biting the bullet and letting her cry if she woke up. The more you go in there, the longer it will take to break your child of the habit of screaming. However, don’t give up! Despite your emotions, know that it is not going to harm your child to leave her/him screaming for one night. (They know to cry harder and make you feel bad and you’ll come in!)
My DD is now 2 (well, she will be tomorrow) and a few weeks ago we started having her throw fits about bedtime and we went back to the basics of being totally consistent with the bed time, getting ready for bed and saying the prayers and if she was good and put her head on the pillow and didn’t cry, daddy would read her a short story and then good night. It only took about 3 days and we’re now not having the crying fits anymore – probably because we stopped falling for the million requests for kisses and coaxing, etc. We also had to get a little mean. I told Sofia, “you have 2 options, you can put your head down or you’re getting a spanking and you can go stand in the corner until you stop crying.” Obviously, the lesser of 2 evils is putting her head down. (Yes, we do swat her at times and she very well knows what the corner is. I hope I don’t get chastise for admitting that!)
The more consistent you are, to begin with, the easier it will be later!